


One Feet Away

by Naferty



Category: Psych
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, Grandfather Rossi, Kid Buzz, M/M, Mpreg, Or consider this a one-shot, Pregnant Shawn, small Criminal Minds Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 19:11:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5427416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naferty/pseuds/Naferty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One night with the rookie cop and Shawn was left with a little present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Feet Away

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago and left it unfinished after a while. Talked to my moose bestie about it once and she encouraged to post it, even if it didn't have an ending and I decided, sure, why not?   
> This is 20k of unfinished mpreg Shawn with kid Buzz. It's cracky, corny, has misspellings and grammar errors everywhere. Enjoy!

Shawn looked down at the tiny white stick. Its pink plus sign mocking him and, quite literally, making him reel back in shock. Granted, he shouldn’t be surprised that this had happened, but the confirmation was more than enough to make any man fall to their knees.

One month. That was how far along he was. He’d bet his bike on it. Four weeks and three days since his act of defiance. A month now since he’s started the trip around country. A month since he’s left home. A month since he’s had a onetime tussle with a mustache wearing and strong Celtic jaw rookie cop. It was a month, right? Of course it was a month. It wasn’t like Shawn made it a habit to sleep with every cop guy out there, and he certainly doesn’t remember taking it from anyone else after leaving Santa Barbara, which only meant one thing. The rookie cop was the father, and crap doesn’t that just put a spin on things and add more complications than necessary.

Shawn tossed the stick away and grabbed the second test still in its box. He had to be absolutely sure about this, but first he needed more liquid in his system if he planned to take it again. He groaned when he finished a bottle of water completely in one go and went for a second, only managing half of it, and waited. Half an hour later he was ready to throw everything he had on the stick and after three of the longest minutes he ever waited for he looked at the test and glared at the tiny plastic that was out to ruin his night. Another pink plus sign and it practically glowed with neon lights that caused him to go blind momentarily.

He flung the cursed thing down the trash and slid down on the hotel’s bathroom floor. He pulled his knees up, wrapped his arms around them and buried his head in an attempt to hide from the truth. It didn’t help. His traitorous brain snapped a picture of the stick with the fluffy and happy pink plus sign and it wouldn’t let him forget it, making it flash in his eyes every second he wasted just sitting there. After a few minutes his body finally caught up with what his brain already knew and it began to shake uncontrollably in a late response. His heart stopped three times. His stomach dropped and felt like he had just eaten a ten ton brick. His toes grew hypothermia cold and his chest felt like a heavy pressure was pressing down on him, making it extremely hard to breathe.

He withered and choked on tears. Not trusting himself to stay upright he allowed his body to become weightless and slump completely on the bathroom floor. Curled in a fetal position he wrapped his arms around his body, trying to rock himself calm. It was soothing, but it didn’t stop his shaking. He tightened his arms, probably giving himself bruises from the sheer strength of it. The image of the stick appeared again and something snapped in his mind. He quickly released his arms and straightened his legs, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. With a nervous and shaky hand he slowly lifted it up and placed it gingerly on his stomach. He sucked in a breath and quickly loosened his belt and undid the button and zipper of his pants. The thought of the tightness around his abdomen replaced his earlier shock and fear to concern and worry.

He quickly lifted himself up and gave his surroundings a scan before landing his eyes on his stomach. He shook his head once, twice, a couple more times and took a deep breath. This was no time to panic or have a break down. He needed to think about his next move and he needed to take action now. He jumped up from the not so trusting floor that probably hadn’t seen better days, turned on the sink, cupped his hands and splashed his face with water. This was nothing he couldn’t resolve. He just needed to take it one step at a time and consider all possibilities.

First things first. How did he get himself in this situation? _That’s easy_ he thought, _I was hormonal and wanted to get my back at my dad_. Naturally he had to go after one of Henry’s co-workers.

Next, how was the situation possible? Another easy one. The condoms he had in his pocket weren’t a guarantee and either broke from the sheer chance that it could, or the rookie cop was either bigger or smaller than the condom’s size was meant for. Shawn doubted it was the smaller option. The cop felt too big for that to be the reason, so the condom broke because it was too small for the guy and ripped from the pressure.

So now came the question about what to do. What was he going to do? Obviously he couldn’t go through with the pregnancy. He was currently on a trip across states, on his bike on top of that. He was going to be constantly moving and that lifestyle wasn’t meant for big bellies and morning sickness and cravings. No, and to add to it he was only 24 and single and had no one to help him, unless he decides to go back to Santa Barbara, which wasn’t an option cause no matter how desperate he gets he will never ask Henry for help. It would only be another reason for Henry to call him irresponsible and a disappointment. Also, going back meant the possibility of running into the sperm-donor, and Shawn couldn’t have that happening. The only option he could do caused him to swallow heavily.

Shawn never breached the idea of abortion. Never talked about it before and never considered it. He was always careful when spending a night with someone, always mindful about the chance of getting them pregnant and getting pregnant himself. Abortion just wasn’t in his dictionary, but now…

Shawn looked at his reflection in the mirror with wide eyes, stunned. His cheek began growing a red spot from where his hand made physical contact. He quickly slapped his other cheek to make sure the thought of abortion was completely out of his mind. A montage of images involving Henry telling him what to do and what not to do, taking away his choices before he had a chance to even understand them, coursed through his head. Shawn swore he was not going to be a replica of Henry. When the day came to have children he was going to be the best father ever and give his kids all the freedom he could give. Everything Henry did would never reach his kids. He was going to let them be their own person with their own options and dreams. And yet here he was, thinking of options for his kid and taking away its chance at life, its choices and its freedom.

Shawn sank to his knees and leaned his head against the sink, grabbing it for dear life. There was no way out of this. He wasn’t going to return back to SB and abortion was not an option, which only left him with one choice. Keep the child and do everything within his power to give it as much of a proper life on the road as he could. At least until he could find a place to set up roots momentarily, which also meant staying in a place for a while, looking for jobs or other means of income. And then when the kid is born he’d have to think about hiring a babysitter, but before that he’d have to think about how he was going to deliver the baby. No way was he going to give a natural birth. Never. C-section was the only option for him.

Shawn got back on his feet, looked at his reflection, ran a hand through his hair and dusted his clothes of invisible dust. He needed to get to work and have an early start before the pregnancy became too obvious and too real. He needed to set up things since yesterday.

“Okay, Shawn ol’ buddy, ol’ boy. You can do this. You’ve faced Henry in those freaks of mother-nature shirts and this should be no different. Well, maybe a bit different considering it’s going to be alive, and need food, and poop everywhere, and-” Shawn stopped himself. The kid wasn’t even here yet and already he was panicking. “You can do this. You can do this.” He kept repeating himself.

“You can do this.”

~~

 

Five months later and Shawn found himself thinking that perhaps he couldn’t do this.

No, not perhaps. He could not do this.

He managed the first two months on the road, finding local jobs that would hire him for a week at most before he was either fired or he quit. He couldn’t help it. He really needed the jobs, but with his mood swings turning him into a handsome pale version of the Hulk and the labor required for his job boring him after the third day he just couldn’t keep it in his mind to stay and sacrifice for the baby’s sake. He was selfish and an asshole. His kid was doomed from the very beginning.

He lost track of the number of jobs he’s had. It was somewhere around 50, if not over it, he was sure of that, but the exact number was lost. Gus probably knew the number. He had kept in contact with his best friend and always mentioned the job he was currently in. If he knew his friend well, and Shawn was positive he did, Gus probably had a list of all his jobs written down somewhere, keeping tabs. While Shawn always mentioned his jobs, so far he has never mentioned once about the pregnancy. He couldn’t risk Gus running off and getting bribed by Henry on his status. He’ll have to send Gus a very large apology letter and about 30+ presents to get his forgiveness, but at the moment all that was going through Shawn’s mind was “Am I witnessing a mugging?”

He certainly was, if the way the large man was holding and yanking the purse of the woman was anything to go by. He should have said something right from the start. He should have put a stop to it somehow, but he wasn’t in any condition to go out and be a hero. He had someone else to think about now.

Shawn was about to turn and walk away, telling himself he didn’t see anything, when out of nowhere the large man pulled out a knife and held it menacingly to the girl. If he didn’t do something soon the scene was going to turn from a mugging to a murder, and he was going to be a witness.

“Hey!” He shouted and grew cold when he realized his mistake. The man pulled back, or more like jumped back, and ran to the opposite side of the alleyway they were in, leaving him and the girl frightened, terrified and very much alone. Shawn sucked in a breath to try and calm his nerves. Stress wasn’t good. Even though he reached the five month mark there was still a small fear that he will miscarry at any given moment from the slightest sign of stress.

He walked slowly to the girl, making sure to keep an eye for anything sudden that will physically hurt him. “Are you hurt? Any damages? Wounds?” He asked when he was inches away from her. He wasn’t willing to make contact, not yet until he made sure she was harmless and not going to lash out from fear.

“I- I’m fine.” She answered after a while, shaking. “I’m fine. I’m fine. I-”

Shawn gave her a look-over. She was pale, with no signs of color on her face. She was bone white from the fear and looked as if she was going to collapse any minute.

“P-please,” she started again. “Call the cops. Call anyone! Please!”

“Whoa, okay calm down.” Shawn took a step back out of caution. “I’ll call the cops for you.” And he did. A middle-age sounding lady answered him, asked the practice questions cops usually had and promised to send someone immediately. He snapped his phone and cringed at low battery it showed. He needed to finish what he came out to do and quick.

“Listen, the cops are on their way but I can’t be here when they arrive. I need to get going. Will you be-”

The girl interrupted him before he could finish his question. “Please don’t leave me!”

Shawn swallowed hard. He couldn’t stay. He needed to finish the deal and get going before suspicion grew in the second party. He couldn’t stick around and wait for the cops, especially if they decide to interrogate him.

The ghostly look on the girls face answered his decision for him. “Alright, I’ll stay.” He managed to remain still for a whole ten minutes before panic began to set in. The deal was supposed to have happened five minutes ago and as the seconds ticked by the sounds of sirens began and grew louder and louder. He was all but ready to run and jump over the fence (If he could) when the sirens were only minutes away.

“The cops are almost here. I’m sorry but I have to get going.” Shawn turned to run and continue where his original destination was to. The girl began shouting again for him to stay, but he ignored it with all his might. The lights of the sirens came into view, signaling they were just around the corner. Shawn began jogging lightly, ignoring the discomfort it caused to his body.

A few corners later and he found the meeting spot, relieved that the second party was still there, but also nervous. Pulling his coat tighter around his body in an attempt to keep certain aspects of his body hidden he carefully walked up to them, asked and answered what he was supposed to and handed over the merchandized, collecting the payment. The trade safely in hand he scurried back to where he was supposed to drop it off, blocks away from where the trade happened. Who knew drug dealing involved walking around so much?

The warehouse came to view and he sighed in relief. It was almost over. He walked closer only to stop in his tracks when he spotted a cop car right next to the warehouse. On closer inspection he found it wasn’t only one cop car. It was four, along with black SUVs that only meant serious business. A cold chill went up his spine. If any of them found him now it would only end in disaster for him.

Praying nobody spotted him yet he quickly turned and made for the buildings to hide.

“Stop! Freeze!”

His heart stopped and his body turned cold. They saw him. They were going to give chase and he was going to get caught and jailed. There was no way he was going to outrun them in anyway.

“I said stop!”

Shawn instantly stopped. If he kept trying to run whoever was chasing him was going to tackle him to the ground, and he couldn’t risk that.

“On your knees! Hands in the air!”

Shawn sank to his knees and resisted the urge to cry as he lifted his arms up. This was it. His life was spiraling down now. It was over. He was going to get arrested in Colorado. Get his rights taken away and have a baby in a cell with a thief or murderer as his cellmate and name them as the baby’s godfather.

Footsteps got closer and his hands were grabbed and yanked behind his back, cuffing him. He let out a cry from the sheer force of it. The cry turned into pure fear when whoever cuffed him tried pushing him down on the floor.

“Wait!” Shawn pushed back against the knee forcing him on the ground. The person only put more force, causing his stomach to get pressed against his legs. He continued struggling, refusing to let his months of work get ruined because a cop decided to go rough on him. He refused to lose his baby just because of a mistake he made.

With a strong push using his legs he jerked back, unbalancing the cop for a moment, and before they could return the action he quickly laid on his side, avoiding his stomach completely and showing the cop he was cooperating. He remained still, even when the cop began yanking his arm to stand and rearrange him. He was deadweight at that point.

More footsteps soon arrived, bringing with them a strong and firmed “Stand down” with them.

Whoever the ‘stand down’ was for was either for the cop still yanking him, or it was meant for Shawn, even though he was technically already standing down.

“I said stand down!” The person with authority repeated again.

The one hovering over Shawn stopped this time and took a step back, leaving him alone. Shawn remained motionless, not wanting to risk himself any further.

“Stand up.”

Shawn wanted to ignore them, him. He just wanted to get back to his room and lay in his bed and forget any of this ever happened.

“Kid, stand up.”

“’m not a kid.” Shawn replied. He could practically hear the person smirking after saying that.

“You’re acting like a kid and behaving like one. Now come on, stand.”

“Kind of hard to do so with my hands cuffed behind my back. I wouldn’t have minded the handcuffs a few months back, but right now I’m not exactly in a condition to pick myself up. Would one of you kind and strong gentlemen help a damsel in distress?” Shawn lifted his head and looked at the cops surrounding him. He quickly made out the person with authority in the group. The black suit being a dead giveaway. He had a scruffy mustache and beard, strands turning white from age. The slicked back hair and the beady half-closed eyes showed he was well experienced and still able to dish it out, even for his age, and he was very much Italian. 

“I take it there is a reason why you’re not doing it yourself?” The Italian man said.

“Among other things. I just like sleeping on the cold hard cement. It does wonders on my back.”

“Help him up.” He ordered one of the cops.

“Whoa, no rough handling now. I usually wait for the third date before any of that happens.”

“Kid, you best watch your mouth. You’re not exactly in a position to be a smartass.”

“There’s never not a right time to be a smartass.” Shawn did not squeak when one of the cops used one hand to grab his shoulder and the other to grab his hip. “Watch those hands there, stud.” The cop made a face before patting him down. Shawn panicked for a second and when the cop stilled after patting down his coat he knew the jury was out.

The cop pulled back and looked to the one in charge. “He’s-”

The old Italian gruff stopped him. “I know. Take him in, but be careful.”

~~

 

Shawn tapped impatiently on the table inside an interrogation room. He stared at his hands, counted to five before looking at the two sided glass screen and scowled at a spot that he was sure someone was standing and looked back at his hands again. He glanced down at his six month belly sticking out from his shirt. His coat and the trade were confiscated and locked away in plastic evidence bags. He was left with nothing but the clothes on his back, and legs, and feet. The shirt was tight around his midsection. If cops still had doubts about his condition, the visual evidence was more than enough to change their minds.

Dropping his shoulders in defeat he leaned his head down and felt the cold of the surface on his forehead. The sounds of footsteps began outside the door and the jiggle of the doorknob signaled someone entered.

“Can I go now?” Shawn’s muffled question echoed in the room.

“After we ask you a couple of questions.” Some high-end cop said.

Shawn sighed and lifted his head. “Hit me already so I can go home.”

“You’re not going anywhere. We have enough on you to keep you overnight and even the next day.” The cop threw the evidence bag filled with his trade. The money taunted him through the plastic; it’s crippling and ripped edges a sign of how his life was tearing apart. “We found this in your pockets. Mind explaining?” The cop sat and crossed his fingers over the table, looking at Shawn unblinking.

“Someone gave it to me to deliver. I was just doing what they said. Is that a crime?”

“It is when it involves drug dealing.” The cop growled.

Shawn stared at the man’s balding and shiny head reflecting the ceiling light. “What makes you think it was drugs? I could have been delivering a movie, or even traded the answer sheet for the next week’s school tests. You never know. Teens will resort to anything for a good grade.”

“But it wasn’t. Mr. Spencer, I don’t think you understand the situation you’re currently in. Now, unless you start talking soon I’m going to place you in a holding cell where I’m sure you’re going to make a lot of interesting friends. Do you really want to do that under your condition?”

Shawn pulled back and wrapped his arms protectively around his midsection, glaring at the cop. He bit back a remark he was going to make about the cops own personal situation. Cheating on your wife was something you really didn’t want to get caught doing. “No.”

“Then talk.”

“I’ve got nothing to say.”

“Wrong answer, Mr. Spencer.”

“Is it?” Shawn countered. “Then what’s the right answer, officer? Should I be taking pointers from you? Considering you’re giving your wife wrong answers on who you actually spend your recent nights with? I’d say you’re a bad influence to me.”

The cop seemed to reel back in shock. “I’m sorry?”

Shawn looked to his ring finger. “You have a tanning on your finger that’s shaped like a ring, and recently, too, by the looks of how light your true skin tone is compared to it. You’re not wearing your wedding ring which either means you’re afraid that some lowlife that has the sour luck to be stuck in this room is going to steal it straight off your finger, or you’re seeing someone behind your wife’s back and don’t want them to know you’re married.”

The officer’s mouth dropped. Shawn savored the image. Regaining his senses the officer stood with as much pride as he could save and pulled out his handcuffs with a glare at Shawn. “Mr. Spencer, you are under arrest. Anything you say can and will-”

The door of the interrogation room opened and inside appeared the Italian man from before. The head honcho. “Detective, that’s enough.”

“Agent?” The ‘detective’ turned to the agent.

“I can handle it from here. Go and look over the evidence of the bust.” The officer left the room, leaving Shawn and Italian alone in the room. The agent walked slowly to the empty chair. He studied Shawn and Shawn studied him back. Finally, after a few tense seconds he grabbed the seat and sat. “That was pretty impressive, what you did.”

“It’s not every day I get complimented by an agent.” Shawn grinned. “You keep saying things like that and I might just go home with you.”

The agent chuckled. “Not interested, kid. Picking up pregnant folk is not exactly high on my list.”

Shawn shrugged. “Your loss then. To what do I owe the pleasure and company?”

“For one thing drug dealing.”

“I told you, I didn’t-”

“Cut the act.” The agent said sternly. Shawn’s eyes widened momentarily, a brief image of Henry sitting across from him with his arms crossed replaced the agent and made him feel like a child again. “We both know that’s a lie.

“We do?”

The agent’s beady eyes narrowed and Shawn saw something flash in them.  He had seen that same look before. Plenty of times. It was almost a replica. He sighed and leaned back against the chair. “You’ve been reading me.”

“Profiling.”

“You say tomato I say potato. Alright, you got me. Take me away and never let me see the light of day again.”

The faintest hint of a smile appeared on the agent’s lips. “So why did you do it? Why get involved?”

“You really want me to dig up my own grave, don’t you? You’re setting me up. I know how this game is played.”

“Do you now? Then you must know what my next move is.”

“Look, it was only a onetime thing. It’s not like I’ve done it before. I’m practically a virgin, in the metaphorical aspect of it.”

“Only a onetime thing?” The agent began tapping the table with his fingers. “That certainly makes it better, doesn’t it? We can forget this whole thing ever happened since it’s your first time doing it.”

Shawn glared, willing for the agent’s hair to burst into flames or combust. He decided to give up and rested his chin on the table. It was a lost cause. Had been from the start. There was no way he could talk himself out of this one and there was no one to call and help bail him out. He was on his own. He cursed himself for thinking he could make this trade without getting caught. It really had been his first time getting involved with something this low. He’s never taken drugs nor does he plan to ever do so, but desperate times called for desperate measures. If getting the money to help pay another day for a room meant he had to scrape up and tussle with drug dealers then so be it. He was trying his best. But perhaps it was time to throw in the white towel.

“Have you personally used it?” The agent asked, pulling Shawn back from his wondering.

“No, are you insane? I may not think things through beforehand, but I’m not stupid enough to get addicted, especially right now. I mean, have you looked at me? I’m not exactly inclined for it, or even allowed. I swear everything out there has something bad in it that I’m supposed to avoid. The world is working against me.”

The agent smirked and leaned forward on the table, resting his elbows on it. “The world is out looking after you. Tell you what, I’ll make a deal with you.”

Hope began bubbling in his chest. “A deal, huh? I don’t know. My parents warned me about making deals with strangers.”

“Trust me, you’ll love this deal, considering there aren’t many other good options out there for you.”

“Hit me then.”

“I’m going to ask you some questions, and then I’m going to test you. If you pass I’ll not only let you go, I’ll even help you.”

“Help me? What do you mean help me? Are you going to throw money at me? If you are I’m all for it. Throw me everything you’ve got.”

“I’ll help you with everything you need, any way I can. Deal?” The agent held up a hand.

“Is this going to be a binding contract kind of deal? Any way I can get out of it if I find I’m not satisfied?” Shawn narrowed his eyes and quirked an eyebrow.

“We can discuss the details after you pass. Fail and it’s up to the holding cells for you. Your choice.”

Shawn snorted. “As if that’s much of a choice at all.” He accepted the hand and shook it. “I never learned your name my knight in shining armor.”

The agent smirked and chuckled. “David Rossi.”

~~

 

When the Italian stallion named David Rossi told him he was going to help anyway he could with whatever he needed, Shawn didn’t think that meant everything.

He was currently lying on his back in some examining bed of sorts. After waiting on the most uncomfortable chair imaginable for almost an hour being able to recline and laydown was sweet chocolate-coated heaven sent.

He was having a checkup. The first one ever since his stomach decided to grow a living, soon to be breathing, moving tumor. Living on the road didn’t exactly guarantee hospital-worthy amounts of money, and when he told Rossman about the fact he went out the deep end and made an appointment before Shawn could even walk out of the police station.

Now he was waiting for the doc who specialized in carrier pregnancies. He was minutes away from finally seeing his baby. He didn’t know if he should be eager for it, or be a wreck of nerves. Did he want to see his baby? Did he want to know how they are? What they were? What if the doc found something wrong with them? Shawn didn’t think he’d be able to handle that. He could barely handle the idea of finally seeing the outline of the kid.

The wait took too long, but finally the doc decided to make an appearance just as Shawn was about to stand and sing a perfect cover of Like a Surgeon. Shawn tuned out the whole introduction and waited with anticipation for the cold gel to be smeared on his belly and the machine to show him what he’s been shedding blood, sweat and tears for, for months.

He made a noise when the coldness touched his skin, the contact between warm skin and cold gel feeling like a sharp pin. He looked at the black screen, waiting with bated breath for the little image that everyone usually gushed over for. The little silver bars began shaping what he long imagined to be the baby. The circular head, the little oval body shape, tiny hands and bended knees. It was exactly like he envisioned.

“There he is, Mr. Spencer. He looks to be developing just fine for someone who hasn’t had monthly checkups.”

Shawn’s arms, that had been holding him up to get a better view of the screen, gave out and he sunk back on the seat, resting his head against it. There it was, as real as it felt, it was a boy, and he was healthy. Shawn released a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

The doctor muttered things about the upcoming months and another checkup appointment and mentioned planning how to birth the baby. Shawn listened to half of it, his mind still distracted to the picture that fully cemented the reality of his situation. Not that the movement and occasional kicking didn’t already do that, but looking at the picture really opened his eyes. It truly was real now.

When the checkup was finished Shawn walked away from the clinic with the first picture of his baby, ever. After all the struggling he went through and risks he’s done, having actual visual proof made it all seem worth it. His nervousness was still there, but now he had a strange mix of hope and relief added in. He almost couldn’t wait to see Spencer Jr. but at the same time he didn’t want him to come out, ever. What was he going to do when he does? How would he look like? What was he going to name him? Will he take after him, or will he take after his donor-father?

Shawn swallowed heavily at the thought of the donor. A onetime thing and suddenly both Shawn and the donor were going to be fathers, and the donor didn’t even know about it. If Shawn ever revealed it how would he react? Would he even want to be involved in any way? Would the donor even remember him and realize what happened?

Shawn pieced together the donor’s face, remembering the strong jaw and hairline and thick eyebrows and the bluest eyes to ever blue in the world. The donor’s DNA was no laughing matter, and deep down Shawn actually hoped that Spencer Jr. took after him in appearance. He could already imagine the Casanova his son would be with his own looks mixed with donors. His son is going to be a heartbreaker.

He arrived to the little apartment Rossman leased for him, paid and stocked to support Shawn for months, maybe even for an entire year. Shawn understood he was digging himself into a debt with the agent, but if it meant he could finish off his last four months without worrying about not having money or sleeping in someone’s street bed, then he’ll gladly take the shovel and dig the hole himself. He’ll worry about the consequences later, whatever those consequences will be.

Tired from the days excitement, Shawn yawned and scurried through his small, bare apartment, curling on the bed and sighing in content. He pulled the blankets over himself and fell asleep.

~~

 

Repaying the debt came sooner than Shawn had thought. He wasn’t even in his eight month belly yet when Rossman came through his door and placed a folder in front of him. Shawn knew, without even opening it, what it was. The blue outside was a dead giveaway.

“A case?” Shawn asked, skeptically.

“Time for you to start your part.” Rossi said, tucking his hands in his pant pockets. “These are pictures of a crime scene. Tell me what you see.”

Shawn glared, the scene all too familiar to his years as a defenseless young child wanting waffles and eggs. This was his life. It had always been his life. If he wanted something he’ll have to perform monkey tricks in order to get it. Henry forced him to do so, why would Rossman be any different?

“This wasn’t part of the deal.” Shawn argued.

“On the contrary, I never stated your end of the deal. All I’m asking is for you to tell me what you see and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

Shawn was tempted on retorting about his hair, but all he wanted was for Rossman to get out and let him mope about the past memories alone. He slammed his hand on the folder and dragged it to him, opening it with more force than it was necessary, almost ripping it. He spread the pictures around, noting the chain still intact on the door, signaling it wasn’t a break in of any sort. He also took note of a table that had blood on the edges and a broken coffee mug near the head of a victim. The hair of the victim matched the hair caught on the edges of the table, meaning they fell and hit their head. But then there’s the broken coffee mug near their head. Piecing those together he figured the victim allowed someone inside, someone they knew and that someone grabbed the mug and when the victim had their backs to them, struck. The victim fell from the contact and hit the table. On another photo there were roses tied together with no water, left and forgotten with its pedals already drying. The victim had a relationship going on. Angry ex-boyfriend? Girlfriend? Wife, husband? Whatever it was clearly they didn’t want anything to do with them anymore.

He looked up to Rossman, and sighed when the agent looked at him expectedly. “Victim had a mug slammed on their head, fell and hit the edge of the table. It was someone they knew, seeing as the door was wide open and there was no break in. Whoever it was probably held a grudge, seeing the dying roses still tied together, probably thrown and forgotten. Victim didn’t want anything to do with this person’s interest. Maybe an ex-lover come to claim if they can’t have them, nobody can.”

Rossi studied him, the faintest hint of a smile on his face. “Ex-boyfriend. Couldn’t stand the idea of not having ‘the love of his lfie’ with him. Went and took care of the matter himself the only way he could.”

Shawn leaned back, waiting for the rest.

“You say you’re not interested in being a cop.”

“I’m not.”

“And yet you can identify the smallest things as out of the ordinary and piece together what others neglect to see. You managed to solve what others took half an hour to do in less than three minutes.”

Shawn pushed the folder with the pictures back to him. “This wasn’t even a challenge. You gave me a kindergarten case to look at.”

“There is no such thing as a kindergarten case.” Rossi said, sternly. “I’m starting with this case to see just how much you’re capable. Clearly, this isn’t much of a challenge to you.”

“Stop right there.” Shawn raised a hand. “Don’t even go there. I don’t care how desperate I get. I’m not going to become a cop. Not now, not ever. Not for a deal, not even if I get thrown out in the streets. If this is what you wanted me for, I thank you for the room and the food, but I’ll be leaving now.” He made to get up and get his back to pack.

“Have you ever thought about detective work?” Rossi casually said, making Shawn stop.

“Detective work?” He snorted.

“Why not? You have a knack for it. You see what others ignore. The smallest bit of detail is key to cases, and you can easily spot those. And this way you don’t get stuck with paperwork.”

Shawn smirked at the last part. “Tempting, but the answer is still no.”

“Pity.” Rossi took the folder back. “I expected you to jump at the chance to prove high end cops wrong every time they jump to conclusions. Make a spectacle of yourself in front of trained officers. What’s not to love there?”

“According to a childhood dictator detectives are useless and a waste of time.”

“All the more reason to do it.”

Shawn grinned, understanding what Rossman was implying. With someone whose job was to profile others, Shawn wasn’t surprised that he profiled his hatred for his dad. “You’re speaking my language, that’s cheating.”

“I’m only suggesting.” Rossi shrugged. “Consider it.” He began heading for the door. “You’d be surprised how much they pay for hints. Think about it.” He was out the door before Shawn could reply.

Shawn stood where he was standing for a time, thinking what Rossman had just said. He began to smile at the ideas and scenarios it could cause.

~~

 

Shawn hadn’t thought through everything when his nine month came faster than he thought. He figured all he had to worry about was carrying the kid and then popping him out and that was it. Sure he knew that he’d have to change diapers and feed and teach the kid basic math, but he figured that from what he remembered Henry did with him. He never thought about the kid himself, just what he was going to teach him. And that was why when Rossman asked him what he was going to name the kid his mind turned completely blank.

He never thought about names. Not once. He figured when the kid was born he’d just end up coming into the world with a name already on him. Heck, he thought the kid’s first word was going to be his name, like that yellow mouse that only ever says its name.

No, turns out Shawn had to think up a name for his son. Go figure.

He spent a total of three days trying to pick the best names out there. Spencer Jr, Gumbo, Josh, Manny, Lector, Bigfoot, Lindsey, Mary, and the list went on. No name seemed to match and Shawn thought he’d end up naming the kid NoName because that was it eventually led to in the end.

Then, as if someone heard his plea to send him the perfect name, his name-seeking raffle finally gave him a winning clue. He had been sitting outside on his balcony, watching people and cars walk and drive by and listened to the city live and breathe when a little critter decided to fly around near him. Shawn watched the little golden and black fuzz ball with wings fly near his space and was close to swatting it away when something extraordinary happened. When the little buzzing bee flew near his stomach he felt the kid kick his kidney in response, and it wasn’t just one time. Each time it flew near and nearly made contact he’d get a kick in several different spots, as if searching for the noise.

Either his son was fascinated with bees and wanted the little fuzzball to know he was there, or he learned that buzzing meant kicking his dad until he gained an internal bruise, either way Shawn found the perfect name for his future football player and he couldn’t help but grin.

~~

 

Shawn didn’t know what to expect when the kid decided he was ready to leave the mobile hotel he’s been living in for nine months solid. He’d heard stories about how painful the process was and how woman, and some men, described the pain as ‘ripping’ and ‘excruciating’. Of course he got some idea when the first signs of contractions had started.

He didn’t think much of it until he saw a pattern happening. A contraction that started between twenty to thirty minutes that shortened to every ten. Obviously it was time and his son didn’t want to wait another minute to see the outside world. He was signing out of the hotel, whether his father liked it or not.

As calm and collected as he could Shawn did the most responsible thing to do in a time like that, he panicked. He walked around his room, swatting at his stomach every time a contraction happened, hoping it would numb the pain somehow. When the contractions seized he would quickly try to think of his next course of action. Obviously he couldn’t drive to the hospital on his bike. No matter how much he believed in his driving skills he couldn’t ignore the contractions as something easily handled. He was bound to try and calm the pain, and driving his bike with one hand wasn’t something encouraged. That left him with two options. He could either flag a taxi and pay a strange to watch him whither in pain to the hospital, or he could call Rossman, who had taken him in and helped him on every step and knew more about him than Shawn had wanted him too, and ask the older Italian to take him and support him.

It was clear which option he was going to do.

Rossman was in the middle of a case when Shawn called him. The pregnant man had deflated when he heard that, thinking he was going to go through this alone, but then the old agent did something that left Shawn overwhelmed with emotions he didn’t know he had. Rossi had actually walked out of the station and came speeding to his apartment, phone in hand when he arrived and already setting up the delivery room.

Shawn did not cry when he saw that. He didn’t.

The hospital was frightening when they arrived. It was one thing to show up for appointments. It was another to show up for surgery. Anything could have happened. Hospitals were never a guarantee.

Shawn was placed on a wheel chair when they crossed the doors of the hospital and was taken away to the room already prepped up and waiting for him. He waited hours in that room. Or might have waited more or less, he didn’t really know. The pain fogged up any memory he had before the C-section happened. He did remember when he was first placed inside he had asked Rossi to stay with him, not wanting to be left alone. Rossi did. The agent didn’t hold his hand or stood right beside the bed, but just knowing he was in the same room calmed Shawn greatly.

Shawn cursed at the world during the time before the C-section happened. He cursed his circumstanced. He cursed his past and his hormones. He cursed his dad and his best friend, because somehow it was their fault. But above all he cursed the rookie cop for getting him in the situation in the first place and not having the balls to even show up and support him. It was his child too!

He remembered a bit of shouting and perhaps high screaming when the time finally came to be cut open. Then again he could be wrong and it was actually his mind supplying what he thought was meant to happen. Getting cut open usually resulting in screaming and pain, right?  All he knew was that a doctor and a bunch of nurses were hovering all around him, encouraging him to keep going and telling him he was doing fine. In the corner of his eye he could see Rossi standing close, giving him a look that said ‘You’re doing great, kid’ and supported him in his own special way.

Finally, after hours (or was it minutes?) he heard a baby wailing and gurgling and nurses shouting numbers. Movement happened everywhere, but Shawn’s mind was too fuzzy and perhaps drug-induced to actually make out anything. But there was one thing that his mind was working properly on, the cries of his son. He tuned in on the high noise, sucking it in and memorizing it. He couldn’t help but grin.  His son had strong lungs. He didn’t doubt that people out in the halls heard the noise.

They didn’t give him his son to hold until he was closed up, but when they finally did Shawn almost couldn’t believe it was true. He counted ten fingers and ten toes. He traced the soft cheeks and somewhat pointy nose and ears. Shawn, without realizing what he was doing, cooed at the little bundle, causing the baby to open his eyes and reveal the color. It took Shawn’s breath away. It wasn’t his hazel eyes that his son carried, it was the donor’s. There was no denying that the rookie cop’s genes were on the strong side. He could already make out the faintest lines of an Irish hairline and maybe the jawline too.  He couldn’t come to hate the sperm-donor for leaving some physical evidence of who the other parent was beside him. It just meant that his son was going to be handsome and he’ll have to learn to fight off woman and men who wanted to get their hands on him.

Rossi was standing beside his bed now, looking at the baby and smiling with pride. He didn’t say any words. He didn’t need to. Shawn saw everything through the agent’s eyes.

A nurse walked up to him and asked about the baby’s name. Shawn didn’t look at her, his eyes refused to look away at his perfect little son. A brief image of the rookie cop appeared in his bed before he answered her. “Buzz, little Busby Spencer-Lassiter.”

~~

 

Spencer groaned as he got up for the 8th time in one week. Sleep had been evading him and the reason behind it was a little bee who refused to stop buzzing and demanded attention 24/7.

He sluggishly walked to the small crib that housed the little speaker and leaned on the frame to support his weight. He stared at the kid and watched him wail for a minute before picking him up and walking back to the bed, holding him close to his chest. He rocked little Buzz and hummed a song his sleep-deprived mind made up.

Ten minutes later and Buzz’s wailing became soft whimpers as he was lulled back to sleep again. Shawn, too tired to stand up and place him back on his crib, leaned carefully back and closed his eyes, promising himself he was only going to close his eyes for a few minutes. He felt Buzz shuffle on his chest and he stared down out of curiosity. Buzz had curled his little hands on Shawn’s night shirt, clinging to it and refusing to let go anytime soon. Shawn smiled tiredly, pride filling his chest at the sight. Momentarily forgetting he hadn’t gotten much sleep since his son arrived into the world he thought, even though his life had basically been decided for him after one little action, he had to admit that it was all worth it. He got to hold this little joy in his arms, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

Then again he might reconsider it when Buzz began showing signs of crying again.

Shawn sighed and sat up.

~~

 

The first time Buzz said an actual word (not that gurgling baby talk, but actual passable English) Shawn couldn’t stop gushing with pride and joy over it. He repeated it over and over again to Rossi, explaining every single detail Buzz said and did, even though Rossi was there himself when it happened.

The word Buzz said was ‘dada’ and Shawn just had to tell the entire world about it. His son’s first word ever and it was him. The emotions Shawn experienced when it happened were beyond what he could explain. He was just so happy. He had a smile for two days straight and annoyed Rossi to no end about it.

When the hype died down it wasn’t long before Shawn was back to gushing and annoying everyone when Buzz took his first steps toward him. It lasted longer, seeing as Shawn took every opportunity available to show off his son to others and he could have sworn his smile was stuck in place during that time.

~~

 

Shawn should have felt guilty for not letting anyone back home know about his little life altering secret, especially his mom and dad, seeing as it was their grandson he was keeping from them. But he couldn’t really bring himself to care, especially for Henry. His mom maybe, and he always felt a pang of sharp pain from it, but something held him back from even uttering a single word. However, as days continued and began to pile up it was only a matter of time before Shawn finally let it slip and reveal the secret to the one person he truly felt bad for not mentioning anything from the start. And the only reason he even mentioned it was become of an interesting development that happened back home.

Shawn had been chatting with Gus since he started the trip, letting him know about anything worth telling, except for that one little living secret. He kept in touch with his best friend for the tree years since leaving. Buzz was two years old and now had a permanent impulse to call Shawn ‘ma’da’ and Rossi ‘grossi’ (a name mixed from gran and Rossi that had Shawn giggling each time Buzz said it because it basically was a cute way of saying gross).

Shawn and Gus were having a conversation that quickly escalated to an argument about which classic film was the best when out of nowhere Gus decided to mention Henry that led to revealing his dad’s status.

“Your dad left Santa Barbara, Shawn.”

There was a moment of silence as Shawn processed the information. Henry had actually left their home? After living in that house for so many years? Different reasons appeared in his head as to what could have caused Henry to leave the house behind. None of them seemed plausible to be the motivation. But the information suddenly caused a weight to lift off his shoulders. Nothing was holding him back now and Shawn found the perfect opportunity to finally let his best friend in on his secret and get him out of the dark. Without Henry there Shawn had nothing to fear now.

“Gus, buddy, I’m about to tell you something. Don’t get too mad about it. Don’t pop a blood vein from it. And promise me you won’t tell anyone, okay?”

“What are you talking about?”

Shawn took a deep breath. “Before leaving Santa Barbara I did something, and I swear to you I was careful, but fate works against me.”

“Go on.” Gus’ voice had a hint of worry and suspicion to it.

“I, uh, might have done the hanky-panky with someone. You remember that one conversation we had in high school? The one that had you running when I told you I was capable? About the birds and the bees and how if you do something it will cause you to have a mini-you?”

It took seconds for Gus to process what he was saying. Shawn could practically hear the gears working in his friend’s head. He heard a sharp intake of breath and he knew Gus had figured it out. “Oh, my God, Shawn. You didn’t!”

“I did.”

“Shawn!” Shawn cringed at how high his best friend’s voice got through the phone. “Please tell me you didn’t get yourself pregnant!”

“I, well, uh.”

“Did you not listen to health class?! Did you not use protection? Shawn, raising a kid is a whole other world! It’s responsibility. It’s not fun and games and it’s not what shows make it out to be!” 

“I think I know that by now, Gus. My son is two years old after all.” Dead silence followed after. It was so quiet that Shawn thought his friend had fainted, but he didn’t hear a loud thump of any sort.

Finally, Gus returned to the world of the living again. “Did you say son?”

“I did.”

“You have a two year old son?”

“I do.”

“Like, a son son? A mini you that you carried? DNA and all?”

“Yes, Gus. I don’t know any other way you call those. I have a son. Carried him, birthed him, pushed him out of my birthing canal and nurtured him. I even taught him the charming Spencer smile that will have ladies and gentlemen drooling at his feet, but for now he’ll have to make do with them cooing non-stop.”

“Okay, I did not need to hear that.”

“You asked.”

“What’s the little guy’s name?” Shawn noted the shaky sound in Gus’ voice. He was nervous.

“Busby. Buzz for short. His name is Buzz Spencer, though I’m reconsidering calling him Buzz Nab, or something. Seriously, for someone who still can’t learn how to poop on a make-shift toilet seat he has the hands of an innocent thief, grabbing everything in his reach.”

“You named him Buzz? What kind of name is that, Shawn?”

“Don’t hate on his name. It’s an awesome name! How many kids out there do you know that have that name?”

“That’s not the point, Shawn. You realize Buzz is a sound, right?”

“Just means that everyone knows his name and won’t forget it.”

“Shawn.”

“Look, Gus, I didn’t tell you so you can question it. I have a son now and I told you because I want Buzz’s uncle to know about him.”

“His uncle?” Shawn grinned as he caught Gus’ interest.

“You got it, G-man. You’re a brother to me and you deserve to know about your nephew. I won’t keep Buzz’s uncle out of the loop.”

“You know that’s right.” Gus paused for a second. “Does your dad know?”

Shawn narrowed his eyes at nothing. “No, and don’t you dare tell him, Gus.”

“He’s his grandson, Shawn.  Henry deserves to-”

“No, he doesn’t deserve to know. At least not now. Besides, he’s gone, and I have no way to contact him.”

“Shawn.”

“No, Gus. I’m not telling him, and you better not either.”

“Fine, I won’t say a word. I can’t anyway, but you will tell him one day, right?”

Shawn sighed. “One day.”

Gus cleared his throat, embarrassment radiating through the phone. “So if you carried him, who’s the father? Do I know him?”

“Nope. It was a completely hot stranger you’ve never met before. You should have seen him, Gus. He had the body of a Greek goddess and a jawline that would put Viggo Mortensen to shame. Well, actually no he didn’t, but I can dream he could.”

“It’s a Greek _god_ , Shawn.”

“I’ve heard it both ways.”

“Greek goddess means he was a girl, and it’s hardly possible that a girl managed to knock you up.”

“You never know. She could have the products of both teams.”

“You know what? Never mind. I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“You started it.”

“And I’m finishing it.”

In the next hour of the call Shawn managed to tell Gus every little important detail about Buzz, from his appearance to his first word and first steps. He even mentioned how he was able to afford having Buzz in the first place with minimal struggle. Naturally he had to mention a friend was helping him, but Gus didn’t need to know his name, at least not yet.

When they hang up, Gus bidding Buzz goodbye, Shawn sat on his bed and stared into space, thinking about what Gus said about Henry over. If Henry was gone that meant Shawn could return without having to worry about Henry discovering Buzz. He really didn’t want his dad realizing what happened and having another reason to call him a disappointment. “A child out of wedlock, what were you thinking, Shawn?” He could already hear the conversation happening.

Without Henry that meant he could return home to Santa Barbara and raise Buzz in the same place he himself grew up in. Same schools, same neighborhoods (almost), same stores and all. Buzz could experience the same thing he did, but without having a father dictating his life. Shawn could give Buzz choices he never had. The more he thought about it the more the urge to hop on his bike and drive back home grew.

The pitter-patter of tiny steps snapped him back to reality. He smiled when he saw his son make his way towards him. His blue eyes sparkled as he grinned at him and that was all Shawn needed to decide on what to do.

~~

 

Telling Rossman that he was returning back home was by far the hardest thing he had to do, besides carrying a living human being and giving birth to said human being. Shawn couldn’t find it in his heart to break in the news to the agent. Rossi had taken him in and helped him on his hour of need. He did everything within his power to keep Shawn’s record drug free and then completed his end of the deal in helping provide for him. It was Rossi that paid the medical bills for the appointments and C-section. He owed everything to this man. And Rossi didn’t just become a friend, he became like the father figure that Shawn never had. Heck, he was Buzz’s godfather. He should might as well be Buzz’s grandfather, really.

He felt he was betraying Rossi, basically a gold digger who stayed for the money and was about to leave because they grew tired. Though that certainly didn’t apply to him. The feeling was made worse when he kept thinking back to the deal they struck. Rossi would help him so long as Shawn considered the detective work after showing him that one case folder years ago. Shawn did consider it, but in the end he didn’t agree to the detective work, which only increased his debt to the agent. Shawn knew what Rossi was doing. The older man had taken him in for his own reason. He wanted to recruit Shawn into his field of work, taking the criminals a notch up than the typical street ones. Rossi had been pampering until the right time to ask the big question came, but the agent never pushed to it.

He didn’t agree on the detective offer, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t helping in his own way. Who knew watching the news was all he needed to solve the small and obvious cases? He’d call in to give tips and the money he received from it wasn’t too shabby, especially considering he couldn’t outright work because of Buzz. If he had been on his own the money he earned from the solved cases was probably enough to make a small living, but seeing as he had another mouth to feed he needed another source to keep them comfortable. That’s where Rossman came in, only giving money for Buzz.

Shawn cleared his throat as he stood on the opposite side of Rossi near the apartment’s door. He had called the agent over, needing to discuss something important, but by the look the agent was giving him he had an idea that the Italian man already knew what he was going to say.

“I’m heading back to Santa Barbara.” The knowing smirk Rossi gave him confirmed it. The agent was good.

“I was wondering how long until you finally decided. Earlier than I predicted.”

“What can I say? I’m unpredictable.”

“When will you be leaving?”

“Soon.” Shawn honestly didn’t know. Usually when he planned to leave it was on a whim and at random.

“Oh good. It’ll give me plenty of time to get everything together. We’ll need a moving truck if you want to keep all of yours and Buzz’s stuff with you, and your bike.”

Shawn’s eyes widened a friction. “We?”

“You don’t think I’ll let you drive on your own, do you?”

“Well, yeah. You have things to do and bad guys to catch. More important than taking some guy and his kid back home.”

Rossi shrugged. “You aren’t just some guy with a kid, kid. The detectives here can handle cases on their own. Besides, I’m heading out as well. I need familiar scenery.”

“Hold on, you’re moving?”

“I am. I’m heading back to the BAU.”

“Back to the FBI?” Shawn sounded genuinely shocked. He understood how Rossi felt about it. A particular case left him uneasy, and even after so many years later it still troubled him. Heading back only meant one thing. He’s finally going to face it again and complete his promise.

“That case will never be solved if I continue hiding from it. I need to head back and face it down, otherwise it’ll never leave me alone and haunt me for the rest of my days. I’ve already received a call. They need an agent with history. It’s just a pity that I never convinced you to take that job offer. You’d be a heck of an agent in the BAU.”

Shawn grinned. “Holding guns and wearing badges isn’t my thing. Besides, I don’t think they have BAU’s over at Santa Barbara.” He bent down and picked up Buzz, who had been yanking on his pant leg for a while now. He used his hip to hold up his son’s weight and grabbed a little hand, waving it playfully. “Don’t worry, Rossman. They don’t need me so long as you’re around. You’ll solve that case. Just wait and see. Buzz and I will root for you every step of the way.”

Rossi smirked. “Thanks, kid. The offer will still stand if you’re ever interested.”

“Maybe one day, you’ll never know. I’m on the market for a permanent home.”

“Speaking of home, we need to get you going there.” He pulled out his phone and searched something before dialing. Shawn grinned and began picking up and packing. It was finally time to head back.

~~

 

Home hadn’t changed at all. Everything was the same, exactly how Shawn remembered three years ago, except for the roads. Shawn never remembered it being dangerous. Every time he walked down the streets with Buzz he was always mindful about cars driving through or strangers who would pose as threats at any given moment.

He held Buzz close to his chest. He refused to get a stroller and push his son around. What if he let go for a second and the stroller went on a Fast and Furious take? Shawn didn’t think he’d be able to handle that heart attack.

No, he decided his arms were safer than a stroller. Even at the end of the day when his arms felt as if he carried a truck around for hours it was worth it.

He pushed through the door of his place. It was a small and abnormal little place with two rooms and enough walking space for a man of his stature and age and a little toddler who had grown his fast-pace land legs and galloped everywhere he could. He didn’t even reach the kitchen for a slice of pineapple when the sound of giggling echoed in the place and a childish “Ma’da! Find ‘e” came from behind the racks of clothing.

Shawn grinned and dramatically looked around the living room. “What? Where did Buzzy go? He couldn’t have disappeared out of nowhere!”

Another set of giggles and Shawn locked in on his prey, stalking playfully towards the hanging clothing in the closet. “Oh where, oh were could little Buzzy be? Oh where, oh where can he be?” He sing-songed. He waited a second before he lunged at his target. Two sets of laughter rang through the room as Shawn picked up his son and tickled him.

“Ma’da! ‘top! You fo’nd me! Fo’nd me!”

Shawn lifted him in the air and spun around twice. “You bet your little bumble bee I found you! What were you doing trying to hide, huh? You can’t hide from me.”

Buzz continued to giggle, kicking his legs out happily. Shawn brought him down and held him close, taking deep breaths to calm himself from their little playful struggle. He walked over to their couch and flopped on it carefully, laying Buzz on his chest. Before he knew it he noticed Buzz’s slow breathing and peaked down to find his son fast asleep.

Typical. He starts the game but never finishes it. Shawn thought with a smile. He reached a hand out and searched blindly on the top edges of the couch, finding his goal. He flicked the TV on the local news and sucked in a break-through that occurred in a jewelry store. He noted a bystander looking nervously between the store and the news reported. The way they twitched their arms and rubbed them together was a dead giveaway. It was a thief who wanted to see their work, either that or they failed but still wanted to see the kind of damaged they had done. They also could have been curious about what the news was saying about it, taking a big risk standing there.

Shawn searched blindly again for his next goal, finding it between the cushion and the armrest. He dialed a number and waited for three rings before someone answered him on the other side of the line. “Yes, hello,” he kept his voice low so not to disturb Buzz, “the guy standing beside the lady with no fashion sense wearing butcher heels as long as my leg. He did it. He broke into the jewelry store. I’m looking at him. He’s on channel 8 right now. Get a copy from the news station and rewind to the break-in. He’s a dead giveaway. My name? Shawn Spencer.” Shawn hanged up and continued watching before flicking the TV off and curling on the couch, carefully maneuvering Buzz around so he held him near the edge with his arm wrapped protectively.

Shawn sighed and closed his eyes, feeling content. That was until Gus called him five minutes later, wanting to set up a play-date with his nephew.

~~

 

Buzz sat patiently as he swung his feet back and forth in the booth. He looked up expectantly to his dad, who had been staring at him for the past ten minutes. Unfazed by it he continued swinging his legs and wore the goofiest grin an almost-four year old child like himself could do.

Shawn continued staring. His cheese-fries were half done and forgotten, growing cold, but the only thing going through his mind was a faint imagery of himself as a kid sitting where Buzz currently was and asking Henry for a slice of cake.

Shawn promised himself he’d never do this, never do what Henry did to him, but something was bugging him, and there was only one way to find out. He swore even if Buzz didn’t answer one thing right, he was going to buy him that piece of cake with two extra slices. “Buzzy, I want you to take a good look around the room.”

Buzz nodded and gave two quick looks around, causing his hair to sway with the movement.

“Now, close your eyes. Tell me, how many-” Shawn paused, swallowing hard, “how many hats do you see?”

Buzz’s face furrowed, but he listened obediently to his dad. He closed his eyes and tried recalling everything he saw. He didn’t remember seeing a single hat, but he did remembering the amounts of displaying pie slices on the counter.

“There were no hats.” Buzz answered, and opened his eyes again, smiling proudly at his dad.

Shawn considered what his son said, mind spinning to what it meant. He looked around the room, noting there were three hats in the place, and his son didn’t recall a single one. Buzz didn’t have eidetic memory like he did, which meant Buzz took after his donor-father in more ways than just looks. He grinned proudly, not caring if Buzz didn’t have the photographic memory or not. Buzz was still his son, and nothing was going to make him think less of him.

“You got it, how about getting some cake?”

Buzz began jumping with joy. “Can we, ma’da?”

“You got it.” Shawn waved a waitress over and ordered four slices. Two for himself and two for Buzz. “Let’s dig in.” He said when the pieces were brought.

~~

 

Shawn and Gus stood side by side in front of the school’s gates. Buzz stood anxiously in-between them, clutching the straps of his backpack, turning his hands white.

Shawn looked at the building with mixed emotions while Gus looked at it as if the building was going to jump up and attack him at any given moment. Snakingly, all three took a step forward together, heading for the doors and pushing through it.

“We can do this.” Shawn said to the two. “We’ve gone through worse. Like that time we ended up ripping those trash bags and got covered in that nasty green-”

“Shawn,” Gus cut him off, “don’t even go there.” He looked down to Buzz and noted the shiver the kid did, agreeing with his uncle not to continue the story.

“Come on, Gus. I’m just trying to lighten the mood. Going to school isn’t bad. We went through it and we’re still alive.”

“Barely alive.” Gus muttered.

“Don’t worry, Buzzy. You’ll go in there and charm the teacher into giving you an extra hour to nap and take the snacks from the other kids. You’ll be the star before you know it!”

Buzz didn’t answer, too focused on walking down the halls and looking at everything, sucking all the details in.

“Don’t listen to him, Buzz. Just go in there and listen to what the teachers say. You’ll be fine.” Gus assured him, giving Shawn a glare. “Just be nice to the other kids and always call your teacher sir or ma’am, got it?”

Buzz nodded unconsciously, biting his lip nervously. They continued walking, all three stiff and gaining cramps from it. Finally, the room assigned to house Buzz for the next half year in the building. They stood outside the door, waiting for something to jump out at them through the door. A good five minutes passed until a lady, who had been standing near the door watching them the whole time, decided she had enough and asked why they were still standing there.

Shawn smiled, a bit forced. “Shawn Spencer, just here to drop off my little Buzz.” He gestured at his son. “Not the tall dark one next to him. He finally graduated and is on his way to high school.”

Gus glared while the lady looked unimpressed but otherwise smiled and welcomed Buzz. “Busby Spencer-Lassiter?” Buzz nodded at the question, rocking back and forth nervously. The lady, who they presumed was the teacher, looked at the two adults, stopping when she spotted Gus. “You must be Mr. Lassiter.”

“What?” Gus’ voice raised an octave higher, “No, no, it’s not what you think. I’m Burton Guster. I’m his uncle.”

The lady looked skeptical of him, raising an eyebrow at the two of them. “His uncle?”

“Obviously there’s a bit of a gene problem here, but rest assure that Gus is all uncle to Buzzy here.” Shawn ruffled Buzz’s hair.

“Yes, well, welcome Buzz. I hope you’ll enjoy your first day with us.” She gestured for Buzz to come inside. “Don’t worry about your son, Mr. Spencer. He’ll be fine. The first day is usually the hardest. All parents go through this.”

“All parents, huh?” Shawn had a brief bitter feeling at wondering about Henry’s first day giving him up for the school system. Shawn put a smile on and waved inside the room. “I’ll see you later, Buzz! Bright and early outside. Have a great day!”

Buzz waved back with a very forced smile. “Bye ma’da!”

Shawn sniffled. “He’s a good kid. Go easy on him.”

The lady nodded, waving for them to get going outside of the building.

As they walked out the doors Shawn had a revelation and stopped just nearing the sidewalk of the street. Gus turned and looked cautiously at him. “Shawn?”

“Buzz is growing up.” Shawn looked to the ground. “My little bee is growing up, Gus.”

“Kids do that, Shawn. Before you know it Buzz will be going to high school and then attending college.”

“You’re not exactly helping here.”

“This is part of raising kids. They’re not going to stay little forever. I thought you knew this.”

“Of course I do. I just didn’t think it’d be so-” Shawn waved his hand helplessly, trying to find the perfect word for it. “I didn’t know it’d be so hard to let him go. Next month he won’t need me anymore.”

“That won’t happen until years from now.”

“Exactly. I’ll be an outdated toy on the market. Buzz will find a newer and younger model and I’ll be left in the dumpster, alone and forgotten.”

“You don’t replace parents, Shawn. That’s not how it works. Buzz loves you. He’s not going to get rid of you just like that.”

“Yeah, but what if he does.”

“He won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Have you looked at the way that kid stares at you? You’re his hero. He loves you.”

“And then he’ll forget about me and leave to go on a trip on his own. I’ll end up like a crazy cat lady with 24 cats, all named Pablo.”

“Then its good thing you have years to start collecting those cats.” Gus shook his keys, signaling it was time to get going. “I need to get to work, and you need to do whatever it is you do.”

“Give hints to the cops,” Shawn supplied. “Get paid to solve their cases. Make them look silly.”

“Yeah, that.” Gus walked up to the Blueberry. “Come on. I need to get going.”

Shawn followed him, looking back and giving the school building one last longing look. “Yeah, I’m going.”

~~

 

Shawn held the warm body against him, trying to unlock his door while avoiding separating his mouth from hers.

Buzz was currently with Gus, enjoying a marathon together, giving Shawn the opportunity to wind down and head for a bar. He didn’t expect much to happen, but the hot waitress showing interest in him was something he couldn’t resist. He didn’t even reach his front door before she had her hands all over him. He managed to half-push and half-carry her to his couch, sitting her on his lap. He accidentally clicked the TV on, showing the news about a robbery of electronics. He noted the way the manager nervously rubbed his hands and refused to look at the reporter in the eyes.

Shawn sighed and grabbed his cordless phone, dialing a number he didn’t need to look at the keys for. He gave quick hints about who the guy was and hanged up, paying attention to the girl on his lap. He lift her up and pinned her down on the couch and was close to pulling both her shirt and her skirt off when his phone began ringing. It was his cellphone and he briefly thought of ignoring the call, but then Gus and Buzz appeared in his head. What if something had happened?

He paused his activities and went for his phone. It was Gus calling. A bit frantic he answered. “Gus? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Gus answered instantly, but Shawn noticed his voice wavering a bit.

“Gus, what happened? How’s Buzz?”

A heavy sigh, “We ended up falling asleep on the couch and Buzz had a nightmare. He wants you here with him.”

Shawn leaned heavily on the couch, careful not to squish the girl under him. “I’ll be there in a bit.”

The girl looked expectedly at him. “You’re not actually leaving, are you? We just got started.” She gave a flirtatious smirk.

“Sorry, sweetheart.” Shawn got up, refusing to whine at the sudden coldness from the lack of body in his arms. “I’ve got a son to comfort and a best friend to calm down. Can’t stay here. You know where the door is.”

“Hold on, you have a son? That’s so cute, and hot. Wait, you’re not married, are you?”

Shawn whipped his head to her, eyes narrowing. “I’m not married, no.”

“I’ve always wanted to sleep with a guy who has a son.”

Shawn felt himself grow sick. She was one of those who found single fathers attractive and kinky. “You’re going to want for a while longer. I’ve got to go now, and you need to get out.”

The girl looked offended. “You’re kicking me out? After I asked for an early leave from work just for you?”

“Yes,” Shawn barked, “out.”

She huffed and stood up, walking out and slamming the door. Shawn ignored her, snatching his helmet and running for his bike.

He arrived in Gus’ place in record time, jogging to the door and knocking frantically. Gus opened it with Buzz in his hands, clinging to him like a life-raft. The tiny little face was puffy and red and covered in tears.

Shawn lifted his arms, taking the shaking body into his arms. Buzz instantly released his uncle and gripped his dad, burying his face into the shoulder and staining it with tears.

“Hey, Buzzy it’s okay. It’s alright.” Shawn soothed, rubbing his back. “You’re alright.”

Gus looked uncomfortable, having no idea what to do.

“Thanks, man.” Shawn said sincerely to him.

“Sorry your night was ruined.”

“Nah, nothing got ruined. Sorry about your marathon though.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Shawn rocked his son. “Better get this little guy to bed then.”

“Came with your bike?”

Shawn nodded regretfully. He needed a ride. No way was he putting Buzz on his bike. “Do you mind?”

“I got you.”

Gus drove them back home, biding them goodnight and promising to look after his bike in exchange for calling him in case they needed anything. Shawn carried Buzz inside, snatching a blanket and wrapping it around him. He sat on the couch and adjusted his hold. He turned on the TV and lowered the volume. Buzz was still awake, but he didn’t want to frighten him with loud noises.

He watched the ceiling, not paying the slightest bit of attention to the show currently playing. He had hope to have a bit of fun for the night, but lately he’s learned that being a single father limited his time for it.

Buzz sniffled, getting his attention. “Ma’da?”

“What is it, Bee?”

“Do I have another ma’da?”

Shawn stilled. “What do you mean?”

“Timmy has two ma’das, and Abby too. Do I?”

Shawn wracked his brain for the answer. Of course Buzz had two parents, but if he told Buzz that he’ll end up asking questions. Who was he? and what does he do? and why hasn’t he been in Buzz’s life since the beginning? and there was one question in the list that Shawn didn’t think he could handle.

“Can we see him?”

“One day.” He answered, voice uncertain.

“Why doesn’t he visit us?”

He swallowed. What could he say? “He can’t because he’s busy out saving people.”

Buzz lifted his head. His eyes were full of wonder. “He is? Is he a superhero?”

“That’s right. He’s saving people and putting the bad guys away.”

“Like Batman?”

Shawn grinned. “Yeah, just like Batman.”

Buzz seemed thoughtful. “Will he ever visit us?”

“I don’t know, Bee. He doesn’t want to put us in danger from the bad guys.”

Buzz’s six year old face lit up. “We could visit him with costumes.”

Shawn kissed his forehead, grinning. “One day, little Bee. I promise you, one day. But right now it’s your bed time.”

“’m not tired.”

“If you don’t get your rest we won’t get costumes to visit him.”

Buzz jumped up and ran to his room. Shawn chuckled as he watched him leave.

~~

 

The next day Shawn showed up to the police building while Buzz was at school and Gus at work. There was a bit of a mix up when he arrived and perhaps some of the worst service he’s ever gotten. The police officer pointed him to sit next to a convict and while he made for an interesting conversation Shawn ended up waiting far too long just to get his money for the previous day’s tip.

If that part of the day was bad it got worse when they finally called him in, but instead of taking him to get his money they ended up placing him in an interrogation room. An interrogation room that had the last person he ever expected to see sitting on the one table in the room. 

Shawn almost didn’t recognize him at first. Seven years did a number on him, but Shawn didn’t know if it was good numbers or bad. The guy ended up ditching the mustache he wore before, replacing it for a favorable clean shave. He still had the strong hairline and jaw, and above all else he still had those bluest to ever blue eyes. There was no mistaking it. Shawn had seen those eyes every day for the past six years. They were the same eyes his little Buzz carried with him.

Shawn stared at him for a good five seconds. What were the odds that right after talking about him he’d appear from thin air, as if summoned?

The guy started talking and good lord Shawn felt his knees go weak. He still had the same voice from before. Deep, macho, perfect to give commands. He remembered the noises that voice created. The little grunts and moans. The cop he had a one night stand with continued talking like nothing. As if Shawn was just another person to interrogate and with a growing burn in his stomach Shawn realized that was exactly the case. The cop didn’t recognize him, at all. He didn’t remember that Shawn was the same guy he spent a passionate night with seven years ago and left a permanent souvenir behind.

Shawn took a seat when they suggested it and looked cautiously at the cop. There was no sign that the cop, Lassiter, was going to remember anything. Shawn ignored the feeling that riled up in his chest.

He watched the female cop take a seat across from him and gave a quick glance at Lassiter circling around. His eyes narrowed when he spotted the action of Lassiter giving a gentle touch at his partner’s hair. A loving touch. He vaguely heard something about him being a suspect and being partners with the manager. Anger began rising when he was accused of being responsible for the theft, boiling over at the thought of Lassiter not remembering and having a relationship with the cop sitting next to him.

_I carried your son, you bastard._ Shawn wanted to say. Give the donor a reason to back off and drop the none-existing charges on him. All hell almost broke loose when Lassiter recounted the time he ‘borrowed’ his neighbor’s car. He was 18. He was stupid and on a rebellious stage against his father, and because of that rebellious stage he ended up doing hanky-panky with the cop currently trying to arrest him.

He argued with the cops and stood when he had enough. They had no charge and he needed to get going. The station kept him waiting far too long and he needed to pick up Buzz from school soon. He opened the door and thought he was home free when the same cop that brought him in to the room before stood in his way.

“You have the right to remain silent.” Lassiter stood and continued reciting a line he’s probably used for years.

“Wait, wait, wait, you’re serious?” Shawn couldn’t believe it. They were actually trying to arrest him.

“Few hours in a holding cell might jog your memory.”

Shawn gazed at the cell and noticed the two men wanting to set up dates with him and the toilet seat out in the open. No way was he staying here. He had other obligations. He needed to pick up Buzz and he couldn’t stay overnight in a cell. Buzz will cry tears if he found Shawn missing.

“No, you can’t keep me here. I have to go somewhere soon. I can’t stay.” Shawn said, glaring at the cops.

“Got better things to do? Like rob another store?” Lassiter sarcastically asked.

“How many times do I have to tell you it wasn’t me?” All of them were itching to get their cuffs on him, and out of desperation Shawn did the only thing he could do. His detective work. He’d promised to later send Rossman a thank you letter.

One thing led to another and Shawn ended up becoming a psychic and was hired by the chief for a case of a kidnapping. Shawn was dazed when it happened, but he had other important matters at hand. If he didn’t hurry he’d up being ten minutes late from picking up Buzz at school.

~~

 

He didn’t know how he’d update Gus, but Shawn couldn’t allow his best friend to walk in a crime and meet Buzz’s donor-dad for the first time while still being in the dark about it. It was an awkward way of revealing the news to say the least.

“Gus, Buzz’s other dad is the detective in the case we’ve been hired for and we’ll be working together with him. He doesn’t remember me and doesn’t know anything about Buzz. He’s currently dating buddy cop partner, so don’t say anything about him having a son he never knew he had, alright? I don’t want it turning awkward for them and having to explain how the one-night stand ended up creating a human being from it.”

Gus whipped his head so fast Shawn swore he saw it do a complete turn. “What? What do you mean Buzz’s other dad?”

“Well how else was I going to have Buzz? I may be capable of doing both the parties’ work, but I can’t exactly get myself pregnant, Gus.”

“Shawn.”

Shawn shrugged. “Buzz’s other dad works for the Santa Barbara police. Head detective, if the rumors are to be believed. He doesn’t remember me and knows nothing about Buzz, so I’d appreciate it if you kept the secret between us. He doesn’t have to know, doesn’t need to.”

“He doesn’t remember you? At all?”

“Nada. Zip. Maybe I’m a mistake he’s tried to burry deep in his subconscious. I’m completely alright with that. Just means I don’t have to give him the ‘congratulations! you’re a dad!’ speech.”

“What happens now then?”

“Now we call up that lovely babysitter to take Buzz while we go and investigate this case. No way am I getting Buzz near any sort of kidnapping.”

“You know that’s right.”

~~

 

Shawn nervously looked at the door. It seemed almost forever since he stood in front of this very door and stood on this very porch. When he heard that his father had returned he almost couldn’t believe it, but there was the truck parked in the driveway, unmistakably being Henry’s. It was a red flag that, without a doubt, Henry was back.

Now was the moment of truth. Shawn couldn’t stay in the same city as his father without him finding out about Buzz. It was bound to happen soon, and Shawn was not about to let Henry hear the news from somewhere else. He needed to tell Henry in person. He needed to tell his dad about his grandson he didn’t know he had.

Shawn took a deep breath and knocked. When Henry opened the door the speech he cleverly practice for this very moment disappeared and Shawn was left with nothing to say but “Hi, dad.”

Of course his father wasn’t any better. “Shawn.”

His mouth felt dry. How could he break the news down gently?

Hey, dad. So seven years ago I ended up tussling in bed with this guy and got pregnant from it. You have a grandson, six years of age. Surprise!

Yeah, that would totally work.

“Shawn, what are you doing here?”

“Well, I came here to tell you something that completely slipped my mind.”

“Is that so?”

“Yep, it was something important, but decided it was too important and so went up and disappeared.”

Henry sighed and grabbed his black hat. “Good bye, Shawn.” And walked out of the door.

“Wait.” Shawn tried blocking his way. “I remembered what it was. It was actually two things. I need a favor.”

“Good bye, Shawn.” Henry repeated again.

“I also need to tell you the news.” Shawn said with a bit of desperation.

“News, what news?”

“News that I was supposed to say here and completely slipped my mind. I need a favor and I need to tell you news, but I didn’t bring the news with me.”

“Shawn, I’m going out for lunch. Tell me what you need to tell me, or you can join me so long if you don’t mind bringing this thing.” Henry gestured to his bike.

Accepting the lunch invitation Shawn found himself sitting in a table with Henry across from him. There was awkward silence around them. Shawn had no idea what to say or even how to start telling the news, and Henry was no better with the conversation.

“What do you need to tell me?” Henry began after three long minutes of silence.

“Wait for it.” Shawn glanced at the door, waiting for his son and the sitter to walk through it. He gave Lizzy specific instructions to bring Buzz in this place at this time. They should be here soon.

“Shawn I’m not waiting. Whatever you need to tell me, tell me now.”

“Alright, I need a favor.” Shawn needed to buy time so he went for asking for help first before revealing the big news. After a quick game about the hats in the place and getting them right Henry agreed to help Shawn. It was annoying, but at least Shawn managed to get what he wanted, now if only Lizzy would hurry up and bring Buzz over.

And speak of the devil, there they go right now. Shawn waved for them to come over, causing Henry to turn around.

“Dad, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Henry looked back at him. “Are you finally going to say it?”

Shawn took a deep breath. “I want you to meet someone.” Buzz ran to him, clinging to his side with a large grin. “Dad, this little guy is Buzz. Buzz Spencer.” He could see the words sinking in on Henry’s face. He quickly looked to his son. “Bee, this grumpy old man is my dad. He’s your grandpa.”

Buzz looked at him curiously. “Grandpa? Don’t I already have a grandpa?”

“You have two. Well, actually three, but your grandpa here is immediate grandpa. Grossi is your distant grandpa.”

Buzz nodded furiously, trying to show he understood when clearly he didn’t.

Shawn faced Henry. “Dad, this is my son, if you haven’t guessed.” For a moment he thought he broke his father. Henry remained frozen in place, his face unreadable.

“How old?” Henry finally managed to say.

“Six.” Shawn bit his lip nervously.

“Six? That’s around the time you left.” Something flashed in Henry’s eyes. “Is that why you left? You got someone pregnant and decided to run away?” His eyes landed on Lizzy. “You’re the mother?”

“No!” Shawn and Lizzy said together. “Dad, this is Lizzy. She’s the babysitter. She takes care of Buzz when I’m not there.” Shawn explained.

“So where’s the mother? What kind of lady would be sane enough to leave you with a kid?”

Shawn resisted the urge to slam the table. “Lizzy, could you take Buzz outside? I’ll be right outside. I need to have a word with my dad.”

Lizzy nodded and led Buzz out the door. Shawn kept his anger inside, but he was itching to blow up and give his dad a piece of his mind.

“Shawn what were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that it was about time for Buzz to know his grandfather.” Shawn growled. “I was thinking now more than ever it was time for Buzz to know his family besides me. Obviously I was wrong.” He leaned forward. “Let me tell you something. There is no mother. I carried Buzz. I raised him, on my own. I left Santa Barbara because I needed to get away. I didn’t know I was pregnant before I left, but the coins fall where they fall. I went with it and now I have a son. A pretty great son if I say so myself, especially considering what I disappointment I am.”

Shawn got up from his seat. “The only reason I even told you about Buzz was to get Gus off my back about you having the right to know about your own grandson. I didn’t have to, but I figured he was right. If you want nothing to do with him, fine by me.” He headed for the door. “I’ll call you about that favor later.”

“Shawn, wait!” But Shawn was already gone.

~~

 

Forgotten memories of a night together seven years ago resurfaced when Lassiter manhandled Shawn into his car, handcuffed, after trespassing. After having an ‘episode’ Lassiter picked up Shawn from behind and Shawn struggled to set himself free. He panicked when the memories of past events woke up his lower regions, only slightly. Having Lassiter hold him back from behind, all Shawn could think about was the noises the detective once made, his hands holding him to the point of breaking his hips, the rough way he pounded into him.

It was one of the greatest moments of his life, seven years ago.

It was made even better when he was proven right and the father was actually the murderer. The face Lassiter made was the greatest reward Shawn could get. Making Lassiter look bad was perhaps the most satisfying thing he’d ever done.

Maybe it was because he was insulted by the fact that Lassiter didn’t remember him but Shawn believed the detective deserved everything he threw at him. Outsmarting him, outwitting him, and embarrassing him. Oh yeah, he certainly held a grudge for the detective.

When they arrested the killer Shawn made his way inside the police station, searching for the office of the chief. He was surprised to find his father inside chatting with Vick, even more so when he heard Henry was playing along with his ‘psychic-ness’. The chief had said something about mixed timing about his visions and handed him a new case. Shawn grinned for a sec, thanked the chief and rushed after Henry, catching him in the parking lot.

“Dad.”

“Listen, Shawn,” Henry started, raising a hand to stop him from saying anything, “before you say anything about this ‘psychic’ nonsense I just have to say that I’m- that I- Buzz is-”

“Dad.”

“I’m sorry, alright. I thought about it, and I realized I overreacted. I was disappointed-”

Shawn snorted. “That’s a given.”

Henry glared at him. “I was disappointed that you didn’t tell me sooner. This is my grandson we’re talking about. He’s family, Shawn. I don’t approve of your psychic business, but I’ll be damned if I allow you to get arrested and leave your son alone.”

“Wow, that was perhaps the most human thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“I’m being serious, Shawn.” Henry opened the door of his truck and stepped inside. “I’m not happy about this business of yours.” He took a deep breath. “I want to see him again.”

Shawn noted the newspaper with his case and name on the headline. The side of his lip curled upward. “I’ll call you later to set up a date together with him.”

Henry nodded, switching gears and driving away from the station.

~~

 

Working for the SBPS was the best decision Shawn had ever made. Surrounded by cops he could easily outsmart, getting paid to catch the bad guy, not having to do the paperwork, annoying Buzz’s dad to no end. What’s not to like about all that? It was as if this job was made for Shawn specifically.

And then he met the cute little transfer that became Lassiter’s new partner and it was destiny. Working for the cops wasn’t as bad as Shawn first thought. Henry and Rossi would be so proud of him.

Speaking of Rossi, Shawn needed to keep him updated. He dialed his number, which thankfully was still the same after these few years, and grinned as he spoke, as if the person on the other line could see him.

“Rossman, my man! What’s happening?”

“Shawn, to what do I owe the pleasure of a call from you? I wasn’t expecting one until next week.” Rossi said, sounding happy to hear from him.

“You know, just wanted to keep good ‘ol Grossi updated on things.” Shawn looked down to where Buzz was waving frantically. “Buzz says hi.”

“Hi, Bee.” Rossi aimed to Buzz, “Alright, Kid. What’s wrong? You sound nervous, and you’re never nervous. You also don’t call before the usual schedule.”

Busted. “Tell me again why I keep in touch with an FBI profiler?” Shawn muttered.

“Because I’m Grossi. What’s the matter?”

“I may, or may not have found the other donor.” Shawn hinted, praying he didn’t have to outright say it in front of Buzz.

“Donor? You found Buzz’s other genes?” Shawn noted the change in tone of the agent.

“I did. We actually work together. He’s head detective of the place, and he got rid of his ‘stache.”

“You’re working for the police now? That’s a surprise.”

“I’m not working for them, at least not outright. I’m a psychic consultant. It’s a long story.” Shawn said, tiredly.

“I bet. What’s this about the donor? How are you holding up?”

Shawn cleared his throat. “Well he doesn’t remember me. Doesn’t know about little, well, he doesn’t know about him.”

“Is it affecting you?”

“What? No, of course not! He’s just sort of there, and he’s oblivious to what’s in front of him. I mean sure I’m upset, but-”

“Kid.”

“I may be a little upset, alright, but I’m good. I’m fine. The only thing is…” Shawn paused.

“Kid?”

Shawn looked to Buzz, who was looking at him expectedly to hand over the phone. “Bee, go to your room. Ma’da needs to have a word with Grossi, alone.”

Buzz pouted and looked about to protest but listened obediently and trotted to his room. Shawn watched him go, taking a moment before he continued the chat. “Buzz asked about his other dad and if we could visit him one day.”

Silence. “Are you?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t. What if Lassiter wants nothing to do with him and breaks Bee’s heart? What if he tries to take him away? What if-”

“Kid, breath. Do you really believe that?” Rossi’s voice calmed him down.

“I don’t know what to believe. Anything could happen. He could deny the whole thing just to keep his name untainted. I know he’ll deny Buzz as his own. You haven’t seen the guy, Rossman. He hates me. Wants nothing to do with me.”

“Have you given him reason for it?”

Shawn chuckled awkwardly. “I might have gotten under his skin as payback. Other than that I’m trying to play nice.”

“I wonder why the guy hates you.” Rossi said sarcastically.

“You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I’m on the side that’s best for both you and Buzz. What do you plan to do now?”

“I was thinking of letting things continue the way they are. Lassiter doesn’t have to know, and Buzz doesn’t either. He can go on believing his other dad is a superhero and can’t visit us because he might put us in danger. The whole superhero identity thing.”

“Kid, I’ve worked as a profiler for my whole life. Keeping something this big from Buzz is going to affect him in a big way. What if he realizes one day that his dad had been working with his other dad the whole time, standing right next to him, and his dad never bothered to mention it? He’s going to resent you.”

Shawn pinched his nose. “Why are you logically sound and the voice of wisdom? Why couldn’t you be one of those old grandpas who wave their canes at children in their yards?”

“If I was you wouldn’t bother with me at all.”

“True. I just hate it when other people are right.”

“Know what you’re doing now?”

“I have an idea, but it won’t happen anytime soon.”

“Do your co-workers know you have a son?” Rossi asked the almighty question.

“They miiiiight… not? They will eventually, I just haven’t gotten a reason to reveal it yet.”

“You might want to soon. Reasons always come up when you’re unprepared.”

“You got it, Rossman. I better hand you over to Buzz, he’s looking ready to kill me.”

~~

 

He hated it when Rossman was right. It wasn’t even a week later when an inconvenience happened that forced Shawn to reveal his pride and joy to the whole police station. He blamed the old agent for jinxing him.

Shawn was in the middle of having a psychic episode, about to reveal undeniable evidence that it was the brother responsible for the theft of a family heirloom, when his phone began ringing in his pocket. Shawn would have ignored it, but the ringtone playing stopped him on his tracks. It was the Looney Tunes ringtone, Buzz’s favorite since he showed him the classic cartoon. He assigned the ringtone to Lizzy the babysitter, who promised to only call with questions and emergencies. Meaning he couldn’t ignore it no matter what.

He cut the episode short and yanked his phone out, looking at the ID just to make sure. Gus gave him a concern look while Jules looked curiously. Lassie looked about ready to yank him out of the chief’s room and Vick waited patiently.

“I have to take this.” Shawn walked out without another word, ignoring Vick’s “Mr. Spencer!” and made for the hall. “Lizzy? What’s up?”

“Shawn I’m sorry. I have a family emergency and can’t look after Buzz for the rest of the day. Where are you? I can drop him off with you or with Gus.”

“What? No, no, I’m at the police station, but I don’t have anyone else to look after Buzz. I’m in the middle of something.”

“I’m sorry, Shawn but I really have to go. I’m already halfway there. Be there in five.”

Shawn sighed. “Alright, bring him over. I’ll figure something out. Do you have his bag?”

“I do. Be there soon.”

Shawn waited anxiously after that. Pacing the hallway back and forth and keeping an eye towards the entrance. When he spotted the familiar red hair of Lizzy and the black fuzz of Buzz he jogged to them. “Lizzy, Buzz.”

“Ma’da!” Buzz waved energetically.

“I’m sorry, Shawn.” Lizzy said again.

“Don’t worry about it. Things happen. Buzz visiting this place has been long overdue. Call me when you’re available to babysit again?”

“Promise.” Lizzy bid them farewell and left the building.

“Come on, Bee. We better go get your uncle if we want to get ice cream.”

“Can we?” Buzz cheered when Shawn nodded. “Let’s go! Let’s go.”

“Bee, slow down! I’m old and cranky.” Shawn laughed as he was dragged by a six year old who had no idea where he was going. “This way, uncle Gus is over here.” Walking down the hall to the chief’s office Shawn noticed that practically all the cops around stopped what they were doing and stared openly at him. Something like a brick landed heavily on his stomach and his hands began to sweat. He continued to smile, trying to disguise his discomfort at everyone trying to figure out what they were seeing.

From the office Gus came jogging down and kneeled on one leg to give Buzz a hug. “Hey there, Bee.”

“Uncle Gus!”

“Shawn, what happened?” Gus directed his question to him.

“Lizzy has a family emergency. Guess we’re going to spend the rest of the day with Buzz. We’re heading for ice cream.”

“What about the case?”

He shrugged. “Can’t do it. They’re cops, they’ll figure it out eventually. Gotta go tell them.” He patted Gus’ back and went to the two detectives now looking at him as if he lost his head and a chief who was about to demand an explanation. “Chief, something came up. I won’t be able to continue this case.”

“Mr. Spencer-”

“I know what you’re going to say, but you have two very good detectives here that can solve this case in no time without me! I have a date with four right now, one of them being frozen delicious lactose goodness with sprinkles on it.”

“Mr. Spencer,” Vick repeated, “who is that?”

Shawn looked to where she gestured towards, aiming at his son. “Oh that? Well, that’s little Buzz Spencer. He’s a mini-me that’s following my footsteps at being the next psychic. With a bit of experience he might even surpass me, but he hasn’t hit his rebellious state so we’ll never know until then.”

“Shawn,” Jules said this time, surprised. “I didn’t know you had a son.”

“You never asked.” Shawn took a chance and looked at Lassiter. The face of disbelief was one of the reactions he had expected. After all, why would Shawn Spencer, immature child and annoying pain in the ass, have a son? “With that being said I hand over the case back to the detectives here and will be on my merry way.”

“Mr. Spencer you can’t just leave. We’re in a middle of the case.” Vick said sternly.

“With all due respect, Chief. I have a son to look after and no babysitter to keep an eye on him, which leaves only me.”

“You can have one of the others look after him while we work the case.” Jules quickly said, with a hoping smile. “I’m sure nobody will mind it.”

Shawn saw through that smile. Jules was expecting to watch over Buzz, a sure sign she had a weakness for children. “But I mind. I don’t want to leave him with just anyone.”

“I can keep an eye on him.” She volunteered, proving Shawn right.

Please, Jules. Don’t be one of those chicks who has a kink for single father with adorable children. Shawn thought and plastered on a smile. “You’re in a middle of a case, Jules. How are you going to keep an eye on him?”

“It’s not like we’re doing anything big right now. You can go and do your thing and Carlton and I can watch over him.” Jules insisted.

Shawn could feel himself pale. He looked back at Lassiter, studying how his face changed from disbelief to insult. He doesn’t like children Shawn thought. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Lassiter stepped in. “And why’s that? You don’t trust us to watch over a kid?”

“This isn’t just any kid, this is my kid. Sorry if I’m not jumping at the chance to have two cops watch over him.”

“Mr. Spencer we need to figure something out here. I can’t have you ditching the case right in the middle of it. Call for an arrangement and plan something out.” Vick said.

“Fine, I’ll set something up. Gus! Get over here.” Shawn called him over. “I’m leaving Buzz with you while I go and solve this case.”

“What? Are you sure?” Gus looked worried.

“Yes I’m sure.” Shawn kneeled to talk with Buzz. “Hey, Bee, you’re going to stay with your uncle for a while. Be nice to him and listen to what he says, unless it’s about his choice of music, in which case ignore him completely, understand?”

Buzz pouted. “I want to go with you. I want to see you catch the bad guys.”

Shawn ruffled his dark curls. “I know you do. One day, I promise.”

“Can we stay here?” Buzz asked, hopeful.

“Here? In the police station? Why do you want to stay here?”

“I wanna meet the superheroes.”

From around the room Shawn heard multiple ‘aww’s’. He even heard one from Jules and Vick. Gus was dabbing his eyes, trying to wipe away tears from how adorable it was. Shawn didn’t dare look at Lassiter for his reaction. “You can stay if your uncle is alright with it.”

The two looked to Gus, who was still trying to wipe away tears. “I’m cool with it. As long as the chief doesn’t mind.”

She shook her head. “I don’t mind. Just don’t get him near the holding cells.”

“Great,” Shawn said, “Buzz you be good to these cops and don’t cause trouble, unless they deserve it. Stay close to your uncle. Don’t wander off.” He said sternly, and then grew a smirk. He held up his hand and waited patiently. “Hand it over.”

Buzz pouted again and reluctantly gave up what he grabbed on his way over. It was a paper weight in the shape of a butterfly.

“Alright, McNabby, what did I tell you about taking things without permission?”

“To ask first and then take it.” Buzz looked down.

“And did you ask?”

A little shake of a head.

“We’re going to have words after this. If you’re going to take things at least make sure you’re not seen.”

“Shawn!” Gus cried in outrage. “Stop telling him those things.”

“Don’t worry, Gus. Bee here knows what’s right and what’s wrong. I have to let him spread his wings, you know.”

“Not until years from now!”

“The sooner the better I say.” 

“Shawn.” Gus rolled his eyes. “Are you forgetting something?”

“What?” Shawn looked up. “What am I forgetting?” Gus flicked his eyes back and forth to Buzz and the detectives. “Right! Introductions. How could I forget that.” He stood up and held up his hands. “Guys, I want you to meet my son, Buzz Spencer. Buzz, meet Jules, Lassie and the Chief.”

Buzz jumped straight and saluted. “Nice to meet you.”

More ‘awws’ echoed in the room. Jules bent over a little to lower her height. “It’s very nice to meet you too, Buzz. I’m actually Juliet, but your dad keeps calling me Jules.”

Buzz studied her for a while before saying “You’re pretty” and causing Jules to blush while the ‘awws’ started again, this time louder. They also heard a faint “He’s so cute!” from somewhere in the back.

The chief came up, but because of her own on the way still in her belly she couldn’t bend down. “I’m Karen. You’re dad says you’re going to be a future psychic, just like him.”

“I am!” Buzz agreed. “I’m going to catch bad guys, just like ma’da and my other ma’da.”

The chief looked uncertain but nodded anyway. “We’ll be more than welcome to have you following your dad’s footsteps here, little one.”

Up next came Lassie, who was staring at the child as if he posed a danger of some sort. Shawn took notes on the way the detective eyed his son, narrowing his eyes and widening every few seconds. He was studying him, putting together clues he has yet to fully understand. “Carlton Lassiter.” He said with a grumpy frown.

“Lassie?” Buzz repeated the nickname from before. “Like the dog Lassie who helped people?”

Shawn grinned when Lassiter sent him a glare. He couldn’t help but feel overjoyed when the detective still agreed with Buzz’s statement. “Just like the dog.”

“Oh hey! Introductions over with shall we get back to work?” Shawn said. “Remember what I told you, Bee. Be good and listen to your uncle, and stay close.” Shawn couldn’t stress the last part. “Don’t wonder off.”

“Promise.” Buzz nodded seriously.

Shawn walked up to the two detectives. “I’m going to need a ride.”

~~

 

Shawn sat in the back of Lassiter’ car, humming a tune that became unrecognizable after it got mixed with other songs. He felt the tension in the air. The two detectives were itching to ask him question, but didn’t think it appropriate. Obviously they were questions about Buzz and it was burning their curiosity.

Deciding to give them a break he broke the ice first. “What’s on your minds? I’m choking back here from the tension. I almost feel like I’m being interrogated without any of you saying a word.”

“Why didn’t you tell us about your son?” Jules asked, sounding hurt that he didn’t trust her enough to say anything.

“Nothing came up to mention it. You didn’t outright asked if I had a son or not, and I felt no need to bring it up.” Shawn leaned back on his seat. Having expected this conversation he found it was more tiresome than what he imagined.

“No need? Shawn, having a son is a big thing. Don’t you trust us?”

“Forgive me for saying this, Jules but I’ve only known you two weeks.This isn’t about trust. My private life is not something I’m advertising.” Lassiter snorted, causing Shawn to glare at the back of his head. “Something funny, Lassie?”

“You don’t advertise your life? You practically make a skeptical of yourself. You can’t resist telling the whole damn world.”

“You’re implying something.” Shawn’s knuckles turned white.

“Why this one? Why not tell the world that you have a son? Unless you’re embarrassed of him.”

“Carlton!” Jules shouted.

“What?” Lassiter said, oblivious to what he implied.  

“Stop the car.” Shawn barked.

“Shawn wait-”Jules tried.

“I said stop the car. Solve this case on your own. I have a son to return to.” Not even waiting for the car to make a complete halt Shawn opened the door and jumped out. He jogged through the crowd and retraced the directions back to the station.

“Shawn!” Jules called after him. He ignored her.

~~

 

It was the middle of the night on that same day. Shawn was sitting on the couch with a plate of pineapples on one hand and the other draped over Buzz’s small shoulders. His son’s head rested on his thigh, breathing slowly. After the ice cream fiasco they had with Gus it was a no brainer why Buzz was knocked out.

He was dazed, staring up at the ceiling with some show playing on the TV, completely ignored. A knock on the door nearly sent him jumping, but he held himself back. Who would be knocking at this hour?

Shawn maneuvered Buzz’s head to carefully lay him on the couch without waking him. The child stirred a little but otherwise didn’t open his eyes. Shawn tip-toed his way to the door, cautiously opening it and beyond surprised when he saw who was standing on the other side. He arrowed his eyes at him. “What are you doing here?”

Lassiter stood awkwardly, looking at anything but Shawn. He cleared his throat. “Spencer, there is no easy way to-”

“If you came here to apologize I don’t want it.” Shawn closed the door but Lassiter’s arm shot out and stopped it.

“Dammit, Spencer I need to say this.”

“Say what? Say you’re sorry for what you said and that it was uncalled for and you had no right because you don’t know a single thing about me or my son?” Shawn guessed it all from the way Lassiter’s face dropped.

“Look, I-”

“If I say apology accepted will you leave?”

Lassiter struggled for words.

“Look, Lassie, forget about it. You said what you meant. You held nothing back. If there isn’t anything else you know the way back to your car.” He pushed the door. Lassiter seemed to step back with reluctance.

“Good night, Spencer.”

Shawn watched him leave. “Night, Lassie.”

~~

 

Dating while having a son wasn’t the easiest thing to do. There was always a chance that the other was either going to be put off at the fact that he had a mouth to feed already, or the exact opposite and found it insanely hot to date a guy who showed dedication and hard work.

After Jules got over the initial hurt of discovering Shawn had a son she was surprisingly sweet about the whole thing. She gushed over Buzz and all the stories Shawn told about him. Gushed over the pictures he’s collected throughout the years. Just plain became the gushing aunt that wanted to see Buzz 24/7. Shawn didn’t know if he should put her in the category of woman who found a single dad hot, or make a completely new category of falling in love with the kid and pushing the dad away.

He didn’t know how it happened, but Shawn ended up getting not just Gus, but Jules also in watching over Buzz for the evening. He was on a date with a chick that was using him as a rebound from a boyfriend who she thought was cheating on her, but turned out was actually trying to propose. Meaning he didn’t have a date anymore.

There went his plans for the night. Shawn sighed in defeat. He was about to leave the establishment when out of the corner of his eye he saw the familiar shape and figure of none other than Lassiter. “Lassie?”

Lassiter lifted his head and smiled. “Spencer! Why am I surprised?”

“Why are you wasted?” Shawn walked closer to him, confused to see the detective this way.

Lassie ignored him. “Hey, do you like scotch? Miss? Can I get two more of these, please? Thank you.” He raised his hands, gesturing to the table. “Listen, there is something I have got to get off my chest.”

Shawn was tempted on making a witty comment, but decided against it. A drunk Lassie was such an odd sight.

“You…” Lassiter continued, “astound me.”

That was unexpected. “Come again?”

“It’s beyond astounding. It’s some of the most impressive reasoning I’ve ever seen.”

This man has lost his mind! “Is there a punch line coming? Come on, let’s get to it.”

“I don’t know how you do it.” Lassiter took a drink. “I mean, it’s not psychic… ness. We both know that’s a crock of crap, but you, sir, are unstoppable. Guaranteed arrest.”

Shawn felt awkward. “Alright, I think you’ve had enough to drink.”

Lassiter ignored him again. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it, no.”

Lassie grinned. “You know how everyone thinks my wife and I have been separating for nine months?”

“Yes?” Was he seriously bringing up his wife right now? Shawn groaned.

“Two years. Two years tonight.” Lassiter mentioned other things but Shawn was caught up with the fact that Lassie has been separated for two years that he ignored everything else. “-it was doomed from the start.”

“What?” Shawn snapped back to reality. “What was doomed?”

“My marriage. It was doomed from the start. Before saying my vows I met this guy years ago. He was outstanding.” Shawn felt his stomach drop and his face flush. Lassie couldn’t mean-? Could he? “We spent a night together. Greatest night of my life. I never forgot it. Even when I held my wife all I could think about was him. I never even learned the guy’s name.” Lassie chuckled and pointed a drunken finger at him. “You, Spencer, you remind me of the guy. Same hair, same eyes and same stupid smile. When you sat on my lap that one time I almost lost all control. You were just so familiar. You don’t have a brother, do you?”

Shawn looked uncertain. “No.”

“I ruined it, you know. I ruined my marriage even before it started. And I ruined that night too. I woke up before he did and left without saying anything. I’ve never done one-night stands before, didn’t like them and I’m all against them, but I just couldn’t resist him. I just wished I had gotten his name.” Lassiter bent his head against the table. “My life sucks.”

Shawn felt his heart flutter. If Lassie was having a drunken confession and everything he said was true then that meant he never forgot that one night with Shawn, and he regretted walking out on him. Shawn ended up ruining a marriage without even doing anything. He felt a heartless pride from that.

“I’m sorry.” Lassiter said through the table. “I’m sorry for what I said about your son. Your life is just… your life is- you have everything, Spencer. You have whatever it is you have to solve cases. You have a best friend that will never leave you. You have a son. I don’t understand why you would hide him. Everyone loves him back in the station.” Lassiter gave a grim laugh. “The kid’s already won everyone over with the Spencer charm. Just the fact that he’s a Spencer everyone is amazed. I wish I had what you have.”

“Trust me, Lassie. If you only opened your eyes you’ll see you have all of that, and more.” Shawn thought about it. Lassie can solve cases. That’s obvious. He’s head detective for a reason. He may not necessarily have a best friend, but he has his partner, Jules, who would never turn her back on him. As for son, he didn’t have to say anything about the son bit. Lassie has a son, even if he doesn’t know it. “And the Spencer charm we have no control over it. Sorry buddy.”

“I don’t have anything, Spencer. I don’t have it and I never will.” The detective said miserably.

Lassie continued his drunken pity rollercoaster ride until he passed out on the bar’s floor, causing Shawn to ask for assistance from employees in dragging the detective to his car. Driving Lassie back to his house wasn’t how Shawn planned to spend the night, but guilt in the back of his head forced him to repay the detective somehow.

Dropping the detective on his couch after opening the door with Lassie’s keys, Shawn looked at the place and whistled. The place was spotless and organized and… covered in wanted posters?

“Lassie you really need a new hobby.” Shawn watched the sleeping detective, mesmerized by the rising and sinking chest. He sighed. “You’re knocked out cold, but I think you should know that I haven’t forgotten that night either. We created something from it. Congrats, Lassie, you’re a father.”

Shawn shook his head and walked out of the place.

~~

 

The next day, early in the morning, or at least as early as Shawn could stay awake for, he called the great Rossman for advice. For what kind of advice? He was going to allow Rossi get all wise and tell him.

“David Rossi.”

“Rossman, hey how are you?”

“Shawn? You called me six days ago. I’m sure you didn’t miss me that much. What happened now?”

“Well I kind of, uh, need some advice.”

“Is this about the Lassiter fellow?”

Shawn laid down his head against his table. “Are you sure you’re not the psychic?”

“Hardly. You’re an open book when it comes to emotions, and especially when Buzz is involved. What did the fellow do this time?”

“It’s not what he did, more so what he said. The man got drunk and told me everything.”

“Blackmail material?”

“Tons of it, but nothing I can openly use. Most of it involved me.” A pause. “Rossi, he remembers me. Well he doesn’t actually remember me remember me. He remembers the night and can’t forget me, but he doesn’t remember I’m the same guy.”

“Harsh.”

“Tell me about it. He went on this pity fest about how the world is turning against him and getting jealous about everything I have. He’s jealous I have a son, Rossi.”

“He’s certainly missing the picture, isn’t he?”

“The fact that my son he’s jealous of is actually his son too? Yeah, he’s missing the big picture.”

Rossi took a moment to think about it. “You’re planning on telling him, aren’t you?”

Shawn sighed. “I’m thinking about it. I just don’t know how.”

“Actually saying it is a start.”

“Don’t get sarcastic on me, Rossman. You’re supposed to be helping me.”

“I am. You want to tell him, then tell him. He doesn’t have to do anything about it. Just knowing should be enough to lessen your guilt. Don’t expect anything from telling him, Shawn. Just let what happens happen.”

Shawn clicked his tongue in a nervous act. “Got any ideas on how to start the conversation?” He heard a chuckle on the other line.

“Good bye, Kid.”

~~

 

Shawn found the perfect opportunity to have the conversation that had been nagging his mind for days. It was after the case of the extraterrestrials leaving behind naked men in the middle of the fields and the leprechaun Marvin.

He found Lassiter sitting on his desk, working on the paperwork on his own and Jules nowhere to be found. There was no Gus and no Vick and no case. Buzz was in school and Shawn had plenty of time left before he had to go pick him up. It was now or never, or possibly next week or next month. Shawn figured since the opportunity presented itself why deny it? Fate was setting it up.

He walked up to Lassiter, nervously swallowed and gathered up all the courage he had. “Lassie, can I talk to you? Privately.”

Lassiter didn’t lift his head from the papers. “You’re talking, Spencer. I’m very busy so say what you have to say and get lost.”

“This might not be something you want others to hear.” Shawn stressed, but the detective ignored him. “Fine. I don’t honestly care but I figured I’d save you from the embarrassment. We need to talk about that night seven years ago.”

The paper in his hand dropped and Lassiter finally looked up. “What?” He growled.

“That night? Seven years ago? You know, the one where you shared a bed with this extremely attractive man and did fun activities together. You still had your mustache during that time. Ring any bells?”

Lassiter stood up abruptly, glaring at him. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Spencer. I suggest you leave.”

“Come on, Lassie! You’re supposed to be the detective and you can’t even piece together why I look familiar to you? I’m the guy you spent the night with.” Shawn squeaked when Lassiter grabbed his arm harshly, yanking him from public eyes and into an empty observation room. He tripped and nearly fell from getting pushed inside. “You could do with practicing to be gentle, you know.”

“I don’t know what kind of sick game you’re playing, Spencer but you better put a stop to it now.” Lassiter growled, but Shawn noticed how his face didn’t match his tone. He almost looked scared.

“I’m not playing a game, Lassie. Seven years ago I met this rookie cop who technically isn’t a rookie anymore. He played hard to get at first but my amazing cop pickup lines won him over in the end. ‘Hey there big guy, wanna head to my place for some under-cover work?’” Shawn watched the detective’s face closely. A look of recognition mixed with shock and fear formed on it. “’Anything you say can and will be used against you on my bed’” The color began draining from his face. “’You have the right to remain by my side.’”

“Stop. Just, stop. You can’t be him. You just can’t.” Lassiter sounded deflated, almost a wreck at what he was hearing.

“I am, Lassie. You’re a detective. Everything I said matches. You can’t deny it with all the proof.”

“You’ve been here for months, months, Spencer, why are you barely telling me this now?” Lassiter looked frightened. “What do you want? You want me to apologize for the way I’ve been treating you? I’m sorry, alright!”

“Whoa, calm down. I don’t want anything. I’m not telling you this to blackmail you, Lassie.” Shawn held his hands up, meaning no harm.

“Then why?” Lassiter demanded. “Why?”

“Because there’s something that you need to know and the annoying conscious in my mind won’t leave me alone until I finally tell you. There’s also an agent on my back who keeps telling me to do the right thing, and the right thing is that you have a right to know about him.” Shawn rubbed the back of his neck. “This is about Buzz.”

Lassiter looked confused. “What does your son have to do with any of this?”

“This,” Shawn pointed at himself and at Lassie, “has everything to do with Buzz, otherwise he wouldn’t exist right now.”

It took a minute for Lassiter to process what he meant. Even then his only response was a very confused and worried “What?”

Shawn took a deep breath. “There’s something about me that I didn’t mention before, and the condom broke that one night when we really needed it the most. Buzz’s full name is Buzz Spencer-Lassiter. He’s your son. Congratulations, Lassie. You’re a father.” He said with forced cheeriness.

From somewhere in the department the sound of a pin falling echoed in the entire place. Shawn could have sworn it was the size of a lamppost from how loud it was; near deafening. Lassiter had remained frozen in place for a good thirty seconds, almost as if timed truly had stopped. He had the most peculiar look on his face. His eyes were wide and yet his brows were furrowed together. His mouth was slightly opened but his lips were pulled downward. Shawn could almost hear his heartbeat, pounding loudly for the world to hear. Or was that him? He couldn’t tell.

“Lassie?”

Lassiter blinked once, twice, three times, no make that four. His eyes blinked rapidly as if he was trying to decide if Shawn was truly standing in front of him and telling the most ridiculous news imaginable. Shawn guessed Lassiter finally figured out he wasn’t disappearing and what he heard was truly what he heard.

“You- you, he- we-?” The detective stuttered.

“He lives! Had me worried there, Lassie. I thought I might have broken you. Jules would never forgive me if I did.”

Something seemed to snap in Lassiter because next thing he knew the detective was glaring at him. “Is this some kind of sick joke?”

Shawn was momentarily taken back. “I am insulted that you would think I’m joking. I may joke about a lot of things. Life, fashion choices, those hideous ties of yours, that bald guy always standing on the corner of the street, but I never joke about Buzz’s other genes. Trust me, he’s all you, Lassie. He even has that same puppy dog look you get when you can’t do or get what you want. He has your strong Irish chin too. Let me just say this now, with my genes mixed with yours we were bound to create the greatest thing ever. Buzz already has everyone wrapped around his finger. Imagine when he’s older. This world didn’t know what was coming, putting us together in one.”

Lassiter studied him for a minute, looking for signs of an upcoming joke or deception, but found none. “This isn’t a joke?”

“Hey, you’re getting it now!”

“Buzz is really my son?”

“Fifty percent you and fifty percent me. All incredible hair and chin in one.”

“Spencer I swear if this is some kind of prank-”

Shawn threw his hands in the air. “How many times do I have to say it? This is not a joke or a prank. I don’t make it a habit of walking around and telling people they’re my son’s other genes.”

Lassiter shuffled a bit. “It’s just… hard to believe. Almost impossible.”

“Clearly not since Buzz is living proof of it.”

“Spencer you have to understand things like this never happen to me. Give me a minute to let it sink in.”

“I’m giving you all the time you want, buddy. I’m not asking for anything out of you. I just wanted you to know. This doesn’t change anything between us.” A look of pain crossed Lassiter’s face when he said this. It made Shawn feel guilty, but what was he to say? He didn’t want the detective to feel obligated to act differently to him now, or to Buzz. He didn’t want anything from him. “Do you want to meet him?” Shawn mentally staggered. Did he just say what he thought he just said? What was he doing? “I mean like, actually, officially meet him? He asked about you a while back.”

Lassiter’s eyes brightened up. “He did? What did you say?”

Shawn shrugged. “Told him you were busy out saving the world. You’re a superhero who’s helping people and can’t visit us because the bad guys out there might hurt us to get to you.” He watched Lassiter swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“If I had known I wouldn’t-”

“Stop.” He raised a hand. “I didn’t know about it until later on, and by laws of knowledge if I didn’t know you couldn’t have either. By then I was already gone anyway. Nothing you could do.”

The detective nodded, but Shawn felt in his mind he was still thinking he could have done something. “What will it be, detective? Wanna meet your son?”

The words must have sounded strange to Lassiter’s ears. On his lips Shawn noticed him mouth ‘my son’ quietly to himself and couldn’t help but grin. “Come on, I know this great little place we can meet up together later. Buzz is long overdue to meet his other dad.”


End file.
